Amazing Race
It's Okay, Run Them Over!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 12 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
You gotta dance with the ox that brung ya

Colin and Christie arrive at the Westhaven Marina. They park their SUV. They find the yacht and Colin heads over to "winch down [the] pulley," as he says it, trying to sound as much as possible like a bad-ass rather than a regular ass. And he does it, contrary to the instructions Phil gave, by just yanking the rope rather than turning the handle. Because at every turn, he has to remind you that he is special. ("Hulk not need crank. Eat crank! Eat crank!") Surprisingly, when they bring down the clue, it's an early Roadblock. The clue advises that this Roadblock is for someone with "strong arms, strong legs, and no fear of heights." Wow. Three requirements, and I meet zero of them. That's kind of sad. Couldn't it have added, "who can say the alphabet backwards," as I would have then at least been one-for-four? As Phil explains, in the Roadblock, the team will take a boat to the area under the harbor bridge, and then the Roadblocker will climb a 70-foot ladder up to the girders under the highway. The Roadblocker will then walk a couple of beams to reach a woman who will hand over a clue, and then will step off, fall, be caught by a safety rope (we hope), and be lowered into the boat again to rejoin the non-Roadblocking partner. Or else, of course, he or she will fall to his or her death, but the spoiler people would probably have discovered that by now if it were true. "Let's do it, baby, I'm climbing up to the top of the mast!" Colin says, confident that he knows what the Roadblock is. Oh, that Colin. Never one to let a lack of information interfere with the firmness of his answer. That's how people get charged with contempt of Congress, you know. As they ride over on the boat, he talks about how great it would be if they just sped easily through the leg and didn't even slow down for anything. She grins. They can taste it. They're counting the money, you can tell. They're thinking about tax advisors, and how much a new flat-screen TV costs, and whether they can afford to pop for a racing stripe, and how famous they're going to be. "We will be the most intense people at the Ethan Zohn Lawn Bowling Invitational," they are thinking. Well, that's what they're doing when they're not fully occupied with their other favorite activity, in pursuit of which they have now counted 5,488 unhatched chickens.

In the Mom SUV, Linda asks Karen if she's all right after their earlier map dust-up. "Yep," Karen says. "All right," Linda smiles, and then goes back to complaining. "Where the hell are we?" Because complaining is the tie that really binds. They wonder if they should ask someone for directions. Well...all right. But try to ask in your inside voice. More than that, just try to have an inside voice.

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Amazing Race

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