Amazing Race
It's Okay, Run Them Over!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 12 USERS: A
You gotta dance with the ox that brung ya

Colin continues his Heart of Darkness moment as his ox drags him across the mud field. "Whoa! Whoa!" he yells. "Slow him down, Colin, now," Christie instructs, as if that's not what "Whoa! Whoa!" indicates he's trying to do. "Stupid ox!" Colin snaps, briefly turning into a second-grader who can't close his thermos. ("Stupid thermos. Stupid lid. Stupid Batman.") "Nooo! Stay in the field!" he yells. The ox now realizes that Colin wants him to stay in the field, and immediately starts trotting in straight lines. No, not really, but wouldn't that have been tremendous? If the ox had been like, "Yeah, I'm totally trained to walk a grid pattern; I'm just fucking with you." "Well, we're obviously not doing it the way that it's supposed to be done," Christie says. Of course, she can't be expected to do much more to contribute than (1) stand around; and (2) make it worse, so I'm sure that by "we," she isn't referring to herself. "Get the fuck over here and help look," he demands. "It's so deep, Colin," she hesitates, not so interested in getting down to business when it's going to get her "Texas" shorts dirty. "I don't care," he says right back to her. Heh. "Walk through with your feet until you feel it!" And the editing would suggest that she finds it almost immediately, but I doubt it. They leave and grab the pit stop clue.

That was so awesome, I may need a vacation to recover.

Out by the street, they grab a bus for Manila. As soon as they're on the bus, Colin says that he thinks they should go for a short distance, and then bail and look for a taxi. The other three teams, meanwhile, are peacefully heading for Manila, thoroughly bus-bound. On their bus, Linda and Karen pray for no traffic, while on his, Chip hopes that Colin and Christie haven't found a way to get ahead. Meanwhile, on Colin and Christie's bus, she voices over that they can make up time if everyone else is resigned to taking the bus, and they hop out and take a taxi. Their bus stops and lets them off, and they do indeed hop into a taxi and ask for the Coconut Palace. "You better haul ass," Colin instructs the driver. Lovely. And that's a nice mustache Colin is working on. He'll want to keep that for sure. All the crazy-ass loonies have those.

Kim is onto the cab idea, too, so she and Chip are also planning to hop off the bus. Chip thinks Colin and Christie will find a cab for sure. Chip and Kim -- who, remember, left the Plow task after Brandon and Nicole and the Moms -- get out of their bus and into a cab. Chip promises a nice tip if the driver gets them where they're going fast. Brandon has the same idea on his bus, so he hops off, and when they see him go, the Moms follow. Brandon and Nicole get one, and they get on their way to the Coconut Palace, while the Moms are still waiting behind, unable to find a taxi. Once they're on the way, though, Brandon and Nicole become a little concerned about whether their driver actually knows where the Coconut Palace is. Or, you know, what it is.

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Amazing Race




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