Amazing Race
It's Okay, Run Them Over!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 12 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
You gotta dance with the ox that brung ya

Initially, the moms choose the plowing, while Nicole says something about doing the ducks. Brandon asks if she's sure, pointing out that it's a lot of ducks, and you have to bring them a long way. "They'll be flyin', and yappin'," he says. (For some reason, this inspires me to take a moment of silence to remember the Twinkies.) "All right, let's plow," she agrees. Linda immediately appoints herself to lead and Karen to plow. "You pull the ox, Nic," Brandon says. See how easily and naturally that occurred to them? That's what happens when your head isn't bursting with intensity. The plowing begins.

In their jeepney, Psycho Christie's descent into madness continues. "Must catch up with the other teams," she says with an eerie calm. "'Cause they Yielded us," she says, holding up her hand in the patented "Stop! In the Name of Love" gesture, as if he's going to (1) find the sign language informative; and (2) give a damn. "They played unfair," she says shakily, barely keeping her shit together. And just...you know, Christie? They did not "play unfair." No, they didn't. No, they didn't. They really, really didn't. It's not unfair just because it works against you, it's not unfair just because you didn't see it coming, and it's not unfair just because you see it as a rule that shouldn't exist (which, incidentally, I do also). Whether you think the three-point shot in basketball is overvalued or not (it is), taking a three-point shot isn't "unfair." There's some kind of a "don't hate the playa" line here that I would pull out if I weren't so pitifully dorky. Meanwhile, in the Chip and Kim jeepney, Chip is discussing how Colin and Christie will now be in Kill Mode. I think that's really the only mode they have. I used to think that was just Colin, but after her bloodlust for innocent bystanders emerged, I began to think Christie may just be the very same way. Colin is, by the way, in the process of assuring Christie that if anybody else makes any mistakes, they'll pass them.

At the Plow task, Brandon encourages Nicole to lead him in a pattern, while Linda calls her ox "Mr. Cow." (Ox: "[Eye roll.]") Brandon is plowing along when he suddenly shouts that he has the clue. And so he does. They hoot and congratulate themselves, and then they crawl out of the mud. "Oh, Brandon, you're so good!" Nicole yells. "You're so good, baby, you took me right to it!" he returns nicely. See, neither of them did anything special -- it's largely luck, I think, that they found it quickly -- but I like it that they both try to spread around the unearned glory a little. I don't care how dweeby they are -- I love them.

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Amazing Race

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