Amazing Race
It's Okay, Run Them Over!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 12 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
You gotta dance with the ox that brung ya

The sand finally runs out, and Colin and Christie rip their clue. They start to work, and as they do, he asks her to help with something when she already has her hands full. "I'm doing this right now," she spits. "So just...leave me alone." So, at least they're not wasting time on petty personal grievances when they have time to make up.

Karen, clearly losing her voice, applauds her driver as he speeds them toward the giant duck. Brandon and Nikki cheer for their speedy guy as well. In the Chip/Kim jeepney, Chip says that they needed "a leg up" on Colin and Christie, because those two are "better players" than he and Kim are. "I had to do what I had to do." Indeed you did, Chip. Indeed you did. Colin and Christie finish up their jeepney and approach the driver. They get the clue, and as she takes it from him, Christie shoots the driver a hateful look, the origins of which are a total mystery. As they leave, Christie says to their cab driver, in the same voice you would use if you and Pierce Brosnan were racing to save the world from natural disaster in a Ridley Scott movie, "Please hurry, please hurry!" (Note: I think it is a sign that my head is full of too much TV that I sat there trying to come up with the actor I was thinking of for that sentence, and for the longest time, all that would pop into my head was "Bronson Pinchot." And then my head was telling me that was Balki, and for those fifteen seconds, I was close to tears of frustration. But anyway.) Christie gets up into the seat next to the driver and, sounding close to tears, says, "Must go fast, please go fast, fast, fast." As they drive, there are two guys crossing the street. Sounding completely and utterly serious, Christie says, "It's okay, run them over. Just run them over, they're not..." Uh...the hell? Colin finally intervenes. "Christie?" he says. "If you do that, we're going to fuck ourselves up." Yeah. Stopping to scrape pedestrian off your tires will really put a cramp in your efficiency, racing-wise. "Seriously, Christie," he says contemptuously, unable to believe that she can't control her intensity. You know, the way he can. Hee hee. Heeeee hee. Sorry, is my chortling a spoiler?

Drums follow Linda and Karen and the closely trailing Brandon and Nicole on the way to El Ducko Grande. (Sorry. Mirna moment.) Both teams spot the giant duck and hop out. Shrieking ensues, and the moms reach the clue box just before Brandon and Nicole. The Detour, Phil explains, offers a choice between two Filipino farm chores. One is Plow, and the other is Fowl. You know, I'm happy the Detour names aren't cutesy anymore (die, "Seek Out/Freak Out," die!), but there's something about "Plow/Fowl" that's just a little too inelegant. It turns out they could have called it "Ducks/Schmucks," but it's not like they could have known. Anyway, Phil explains that in Plow, you have to choose a marked plot of muddy field and use an ox (hee hee, whoo hoo hoo) to run the plow over the field until they plow up a rope that will have a clue attached. You'll notice that when the task is demonstrated, the farmer is indeed doing the plowing all by himself, so it is possible to do it that way. Just...you know, for future reference. I also like how Phil promises that while physically demanding, the task won't be hard, because the animal is "used to working with people." And thus, presumably, they are cooperative. (Insert additional spoiler-tagged chortling.) In Fowl, you and your partner herd one thousand ducks from one pen to another. Herding is physically easy since you really just have to be bothersome, but ducks are stubborn.

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Amazing Race

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