Amazing Race

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Jaime and Cara, Team Go Team, are in a relatively distant seventh at 11:29. One of them has her hair in a braid right now, but until she's addressed by name, that doesn't help me at all. Looking at the ten-ruble note, the other one says, "Pretty powerful beavers made that dam. They must be females!" Yes, way to remember just in time that your theme for the week is grrrl powrrr.

In the Stuntmen's cab, they ask to borrow their driver's cell phone, as Mark boasts about what a great tool this is that they've discovered. He leaves out the part where they "discovered" it by being one of two teams who failed to do it in the second leg, and thus ended up nearly being Philiminated. Mark says, "Hello" into the phone that their driver apparently already dialed. Meanwhile, in Team Go Team's cab, that driver gets a call on his cell phone and hands it into the back seat, all, "It's for you." Yes, it's Mark, who thinks he's calling Lufthansa. The cheerleader without the braid plays along, pretty unconvincingly, but still convincingly enough to fool Mark. "It's an American," Mark remarks curiously to Michael. Jaime and Cara are both giggling along to the nutty mouth harp playing on the soundtrack. I bet the Amazing Musical Score Guy is glad to have found a use for that recording even after Steve and Linda's departure. After pretending to only have business-class seats on a flight through Frankfurt, the cheerleader hangs up. "That was so mean I can't even believe I did it," she giggles. No, that wasn't mean. Mean would have been booking them.

Tammy and Victor are leaving at one-freaking-thirty in the morning, a full two hours behind Team Go Team. That was one hell of a hike they took. Those two are so lucky that Brad and Victoria got blown up so spectacularly. In the cab, Tammy admits that it was hard to go from first to last, while next to her, Victor just blinks next to her. I'm sure it was hard, but Victor managed to pull it off.

The Flight Attendants arrive at the internet café and run inside, as Jodi VOs that their flight attendant experience has taught them that there are always multiple ways to reach a destination. Gosh, it just doesn't seem fair that they have access to such arcane knowledge. Searching for connections to Moscow, they rule out one 65-minute connection as too tight. They settle instead on an Istanbul transfer with a nice, safe, three-hour layover that will still get them to Krasnoyarsk at 5:40 a.m.

"I will become an ice cube," Mel predicts as he and Mike taxi to the airport. They end up at the Tarom Airlines counter with Amanda and Kris behind them. Kisha|Jen and Mark|Michael are in a similar configuration at Lufthansa. And somehow, at Air France, Tammy and Victor have caught up with the Margie|Luke and Team Go Team alliance. I honestly have no idea how that happened, unless Team Family Law's departure time had a "1" dropped from in front of it. Everyone gets flights to Moscow easily enough, through Frankfurt, Sofia, and Munich, respectively. Mel explains afterward, "The flight to Moscow and beyond is a turkey shoot. Because from here, we can catchall kinds of flights connecting through all kinds of European cities to get to Moscow. And it looks like a bunch of teams are ending up on that same flight with the 5:40 a.m. arrival time. "In the end," Mike analyzes, "if there's only one flight from Moscow to Kraznosterak...? It doesn't really matter what connections we make as long as we get on that flight." I did like Mike's pause during that little speech, like he was literally thinking, "Fine, go ahead, [sic] me."

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Amazing Race

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