Amazing Race
It Turned Ugly Just Now

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Tango and Cash

Brandon takes the task for his team. As Charla and Mirna discuss it, although Mirna quickly agrees to do it, Charla hypothesizes that she might have to "stick [her] hand in the cow's ass." Why in the hell would that be your first guess? (Miss Alli's Mom: "If that's the first thing she thinks of, I don't want to go to the zoo with her." Me: "Or play tag.") I mean, does she think they've hidden the clues up the cow's rectums? Is that the theory? Is that likely? I mean, I guess if it said "clean hands," or "gloved hands," or even "warm hands," then...maybe. But "quick hands"? Like, "Stick your hand up the cow's ass before it gets away"? That makes no sense. What's more, Mirna picks up on this hypothetical and runs with it. "Can you stick your hand in the cow's ass?" she asks Charla seriously. "I don't have quick feet!" Charla responds. "I will not be able to run after the cow." So she can do the ass part, just not the running part. I think that's the same reason Dick Cheney might be dropped from the ticket. (Rimshot!) They finally open the clue and see that there will in fact be no cow proctology required.

Brandon runs into the corral. "Hey, baby!" he growls. Hee. Brandon chases the calves. Mirna chases them. Charla tells Mirna to back them into a corner. Hmm, maybe if she yells, "Pequeno bella," the cows will just stand still and let her have it.

Kami and Karli finish the dog-walking. They discuss whether to get the bus or the taxi. Elsewhere, Chip and Kim finish the Tango. Kami/Karli asks a cab driver how far it is to the bus station, while Chip asks a guy whether he should "take a boose," and then wonders if the guy can take him "to the boose station." Speaking of the boose and its associated station, Alison and Donny are there now. As they climb on a bus, she says that they "cannot afford to make one more mistake." Donny says to the camera that their only real chance is if there are other teams behind them that they're not aware of. He, by the way, has a very bad white do-rag on his head that makes him look recently bandaged. He laments that they saw no other teams at the bus station, but we know better, as we look in on Kami/Karli and Chip and Kim, both going for the bus option as we speak. These two teams get tickets on what the captions identify as an "Express Bus." Alison and Donny's bus, notably, had no such identifier. Kami says that the bus ride was "uncomfortable," because although Chip and Kim are "such good people," Kami and Karli "still need to beat them." Well, it's a relief that she understands that wanting to win has nothing to do with being a good person.

Bob and Joyce are in the home stretch of the dog walk. Joyce urges on the dogs, saying, "Vamoose, vamoose," but Bob tells her, "All their vam has moosed." Hee. They elect, quite fatefully, to take a taxi. If they make that call wrong, by the way, the day turns out totally differently, so be glad that they did this when they did.

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Amazing Race

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