Amazing Race
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger.

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
We Open in Venice

Russell and Cindy are hiking all over the place for some reason, having apparently gone the completely wrong way out of the hotel. Not great navigators, these two. He announces that he's "making an executive decision" about where they're going. Well, you're doing great so far, Lee Iacocca, so keep it up.

Chipsters. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAH! Clue.

Back at the Calalzo train station, Dave and AirSteve drag themselves out of their cab, with "Dueling Banjos" playing on their ACLs. The Sister-Kissers and Monica and Sheree are already waiting.

3:08 AM. David and Jeff. Who? ["Exactly." -- Wing Chun] I said, David and Jeff. David interviews that they're near the back of the pack, so they're trying to do the best they can to avoid being last. They really do need to lash him to something and attach some electrodes, because that amount of brain power could solve the energy spikes caused by increased use of air conditioning.

Russell and Cindy have managed to wander all the way back to the hotel, so they're starting over to head for the hill. As they approach the hotel, Cindy takes a wrong turn up onto a curb, and Russell mutters -- you guessed it -- "Dumb-ass." "Wrong way," Cindy says, trying to sound chipper. "Not my night." I cannot tell you how much these people give me the creeps. The way he snaps at her, the way she tries to act like it doesn't bother her...bleh. I mean, we've all been down the road of singing to ourselves about "why he treats you like he do when he's such a good man" and all that, but I would remind Cindy that the man in that case? Was Ike Turner. And that's about as well as this sort of thing can be expected to turn out. They grab a cab, complaining to the driver about how late they are.

Jon and Al arrive at the Calalzo station, paying the cabbie as they go. They see the other teams, and there is hugging. Well, who doesn't love a clown, after all? I mean, except for me.

David and Jeff. Hill. Double-axel. AAAAAAAAAAAH! Clue. You can see, incidentally, that David has the famous green folder when they're opening the clue, so they apparently gave out the Fast Forward here.

At Calalzo, there is much discussion of the enormous bunching that is going on as the Chipsters arrive. Josh -- bringing back unpleasant Twin Hunt memories -- voices over that the other teams want to get rid of the "two tall pretty-boys." Somewhere, Aaron and Arianne are all, "Word -- and he's 'alternative' too, just like us!" In the Chipster cab, Reichen discusses how they know perfectly well that "Weezer and Geezer" want to get rid of them, and have since LAX and the Line-Butting Incident. Hee, "Weezer and Geezer." The thing that's dumb about it substantively is that giving the tickets to Steve and Dave wasn't aimed at Chip and Reichen -- Josh genuinely thought that air traffic controllers would make great alliance partners. Not particularly good thinking on his part, but not malicious. "They made enemies way too soon," Reichen says in a way he wants to be menacing, but that comes off like a Coppertone slogan. Reichen asks the gathered folks near the door whether there's a line, and he's told that there is. Nevertheless, he and Chip consult their clue and discuss the fact that "it doesn't say anything about first come, first served." And then whichever one of them wants to get poked in the eye says, "And we're bigger." Remember the "gratuitous asshole" rule? Careful, fellas.

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Amazing Race




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