Amazing Race
It Doesn't Say Anything About First Come, First Served. And We're Bigger.

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
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We Open in Venice

"Anyone speak English?" Millie is now hollering as she runs through the streets of Venice. I love it when people do that, because I know that if I were there and saw people doing that, I doubt I would admit to being an English speaker. Somehow, the sight of someone running around like a crazy person frantically looking for something to grab onto doesn't really make me feel all participatory.

David and Jeff (who?) are telling their gondolier that, at the end of the canal they're in, he's going to have to take a hard right. You don't have to be an advanced geometry student to realize pretty quickly that these long boats -- not being hinged in the middle -- are not going to be making any hard rights down these teeny little canals, but this doesn't seem to occur to the teams yet. Sure enough, when they try to make the turn, it's not possible to maneuver the boat that way. So, of course, the single-file line of boats has to turn back, which means that those in the back are now in the front and vice versa. Ah, reversals of fortune. Suddenly, Chris and Amanda have the lead.

At last, Millie and Chuck locate a friendly woman who's willing to walk them to where they need to go. "Thank you," Millie calls as the busy-looking woman briskly delivers them to the clue box and disappears. Chuck pulls the clue, which causes him further Italian-speaking agony. This time, they need to get to the Palazzo da Mosto, or as Chuck calls it, the "pa-lah-za del mah-sto." He tries so hard, seriously. Phil explains that they need to get over to the next route marker, where they will attend "a party" that starts at 5:00 PM.

Dave and AirSteve are navigating in their gondola, and seem to have taken a different route than did the folks who were just turned back at the skinny turn. They do have a problem with a powerboat that's occupying the space where they need to go. Amanda and Chris, meanwhile, find their way to the flag first. They hop out of their gondola and run for the clue. Next to the clue appear to be Jon and Al, coming out of nowhere and into third place. Josh and DadSteve follow, and then Monica and Sheree, Chip and Reichen, Cindy and the Raging Asshole, and David and Jeff (who?). And finally, here come Dave and AirSteve.

Hey, remember Tian and Jaree and Jon and Kelly? They're still on the train from Calalzo. Tian and Jaree are still bickering, and Tian seems to still be pushing for the Fast Forward by pointing out that Kelly and Jon will beat them if it comes down to a foot race. "You can't keep up," Tian snaps at Jaree. Nice. In an interview, Jaree says, "I feel like she's definitely judging me, but not for any other reason than to make herself look good." Good point. The tirade of Tian continues, and Jaree finally says, "Don't try to demean me, okay?" Jon and Kelly listen with amusement to the argument going on behind them. Kelly silently points backwards over her shoulder. "They're fighting," she stage-whispers. ["That would be exactly what I would do in Kelly's position. Hee." -- Wing Chun] Tian goes on explaining why she and Jaree can't compete with the rest of the teams, and I just don't get what the point of that is. Why would you bring someone on a race like this if you were just going to preach her incompetence to her the entire time?

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Amazing Race

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