Amazing Race
I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
What's the matter with Florida?

In the Gaghan car, Bill thanks Carissa for running. As we discussed in their thread this week, my sense is that they spend a lot of time praising Carissa partly because she's little. Billy has a certain hyper-mature gravitas that I think makes it more effective to treat him more like an adult, without all the "Good job, sweetie!" that you give to a nine-year-old. I don't know that he'd even want that. I think he'd be like, "Don't bother me, I'm in show mode!"

The Paolos, not having gotten the memo on how stupid the volcano was, are still talking as they drive away about the "unbelievable view." Well, those are the dumbest volcano-seers I've ever been around. What will they have left to say if they ever see a good volcano, huh? Don't have a quick answer for that one, do you? Wally and the Tonyas, meanwhile, are back at the visitor center or something, trying to get themselves a map to the plantation. (Wally, in my head: "I always need a map. The girls don't need a map….") The Gadzookskis take off in their van, leaving Wally and the Tonyas to get on their way last.

In the Linz car, they discuss the Yield, and how they have to remember to step on the mat and say they're not Yielding anyone. And then they stop and think about how maybe they should Yield someone. Like...the Weavers, for instance. Alex wonders whether they should "just suck it up and be mean for a day." Oh, Mean For A Day. That would be the best game show ever! I would so totally apply. There would be a bonus round with spitting. Call me, Game Show Network!

Speaking of the Yield-able Weavers, they pull over to ask for directions, and the short version is that while they're sitting there, pulled over by the side of the road, everyone passes them. Everyone. Oh, and don't miss the part where Rolly asks the guy who tells them they need to make a turn, "On righto, or lefto?"

"Righto." "Lefto." This is where we find ourselves. And that's not even the bad part. The bad part is that he is the least socially impaired person on the entire team.

At any rate, people pass. The Gaghans, the Paolos, the Gadzookskis, and the Bransens all pass Mama while she asks for directions. (In a narrow sense, the Significance Alarm goes off here, at the 23-minute mark, which isn't bad.) The Paolos and Godlewskis, like the Linzes before them, discuss the possibility of Yielding Mama and the Weaverlings. "Muchas gracias," Mama says as the Weavers finally pull away from the curb in last place. Then, pulling her earlobe tightly, through her little angry half-smiling I-was-raised-not-to-trust-anyone lips, Rebecca snots, "Even though you were no help." Strangers aren't obligated to be able to give you directions to anywhere you want to go. They are, by definition, less dumb than you are, because they're not lost. Be nice. ["I'm the last person to be defending Rebecca, normally, but I've been known to throw in a '…for nothing' in a situation like that." -- Sars]

The Linzes are the first to arrive at Doka Estate, but several other teams are right on their tails. All the teams other than the Weavers leap out of their cars and run to the Yield mat. Phil explains how the Yield works, and I do appreciate the untucked shirt, which saves me from the Phil's-waist weirdness we usually encounter. At any rate, the first team to the Yield mat is the Paolos, and DJ proudly announces that they will indeed be Yielding the Weavers. The Weavers' picture is posted on the Yield sign, with the Paolos' picture down in the "courtesy of" box. Christine, of the pinks, gives DJ the high five. Ooh, there is some broad dislike of that team. The Secret Love Of DJ And Christine, premised on The Non-Secret Distaste For Mama Weaver. The teams then proceed past the Yield mat to the next clue box, which gives them...sigh...a Roadblock.

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Amazing Race




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