Amazing Race
I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
What's the matter with Florida?

In the Gaghan car, Tammy tells Bill that Carissa is way, way out. And indeed, with her head against Tammy's arm, Carissa is knocked-out asleep in the mouth-hanging-open, totally-undignified sense. She is going to eat a bug, totally. Bill notes that her snoozing is of course no problem, because "she can wake up and go in, like, two seconds." I'll bet. They arrive at the volcano park. Tammy jostles Carissa awake, telling her it's time to move. They're happy to get out, talk to the Paolos and Linzes, and learn that they're the third team. It's a nice moral victory, I guess. Next are the Godlewskis, then the Weavers, then the Bransens.

The next morning, everyone is waiting in their cars for the park to open and, as a Linz tells us, to "mad-dash it in." Papa Bill tells his family to run for it, because he anticipates something first-come first-served. In maybe my favorite upbeat moment of the episode, Carissa pipes up that she hopes that whatever they're doing in the park, it will be free for kids. And she says it very, very triumphantly. "Kids are freeee." Bill dryly agrees, which is his general tone when his children are unintentionally hilarious (see also: "I think they highly discourage it"), that he loves it when kids are free.

The gate finally opens, and all the teams pile out of their cars and run. Now why they were not lined up standing outside the gate instead of lingering in their vehicles, I do not know, except for the general wimpitude of the current race. It appears that it's then a bit of a run from the gate to the clue box at the edge of the volcano. First to arrive at the box are Tommy and Papa Bill. They bring clues back to their families. The clue tells them to find the Doka estate. Phil explains that this is a 17-mile drive to a coffee plantation, and when they get there, they'll get another clue. Oh, and: "Caution: Yield Ahead." Gaghans and Linzes run back toward their cars. Bransens get their clue; Paolos; Weavers; Gadzookskis. The teams all sort of mash together on their way back down the mountain. Shockingly, we hear DJ Paolo tell his mother, of all things, "Ma, easy, take your time." "I'm okay; I can do this," she calls back. Who knew being nice to her would work better than berating her? Oh, that's right. Everyone. Still, it seems so incongruous. Maybe he's not feeling well.

The Linzes are the first to pull out of the parking lot, followed closely by the Weavers. Oh, and Rebecca (I believe, from the voice) pulls out the following gem to describe the majestic, mist-covered volcano they have just visited: "That was the dumbest volcano I've ever been to." You know...those are just bad-mannered people. It's slightly less alarming with Rolly, because he's 14, and frankly he doesn't talk as much as his chitty-chat sisters, but they're just rude, the lot of them.

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Amazing Race




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