Amazing Race
I'm Sick Of Doing Stuff I Can't Do

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
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What's the matter with Florida?

9:11 PM. Weavers. (Boo!) In maybe the creepiest off-the-mat talk ever, one of the girls explains, "We've been raised since we were born not to trust other people, but to trust your family and to trust God." Wow. Not to trust other people? I mean, I would have gotten it if she said they were raised not to worry about what other people think, but to have a girl that age saying she's been raised not to trust anyone outside the family is really...an unhappy thing. It explains why they relate to other people in a manner reminiscent of the Coneheads, but it feels sad. Anyway, there is more talk about how they can't control other teams talking about them, and then the other daughter, I think, adds, "We're all Christians, and we're above that." Well, I can't argue with that. Jesus did speak extensively about the importance of crowing and placing oneself above others. I think that's what all the stuff about how you're more important than the birds of the air and the lilies of the field was about. It's like I finally understand the Book of Matthew.

9:16 PM. Bransens. We learn that they are getting a mighty $74 for the leg. I love the piddly amounts of money that represent the piddly little tasks. I wonder if the clue actually says, "You won't be doing much, so you won't need much." Anyway, you won't believe it, but as they run off, Wally talks about how the girls are a unit and he's just the old, dumpy, slow dad, not really part of the group. I have to wonder what in the hell these people would talk about if Wally couldn't talk about his life of isolation. Would one of the Tonyas reveal her wacky personality? Would we learn that they were really looking forward to going somewhere that Lauren could speak Swahili? It's like we're all tuned in to Radio Wally every week, and the only song they have in their collection is "Ow, Ow, My Knees."

9:17 PM. Linzes. Nick prattles on about how he and his siblings like some of the people they've met, but we're getting down to the last few teams, so you want that one-in-five chance at a million dollars. That's one of those interviews I've talked about before that they should just do in code. You could just show someone holding up "#54," and you'd know that was the speech about how we're getting down to the brass tacks and after all, this is a race for a million dollars. Tommy tosses in his two cents about how the competition is kicking in for everyone, and you can see it in some of the teams' stress levels. In other words, "#26." The Linzes grab a taxi, and they see that the Bransens and Weavers are still waiting for one.

9:23 PM. Gaghans. Carissa sees the clue and wonders if they have to run to Costa Rica (heh), and Billy deadpans that they do, and that it's 200 miles or so. (Double heh.) They head for the hotel where the Paolos got their cab, and they manage to get one as well. Papa Gaghan interviews in the cab that yesterday, they "had a lot of luck, and almost all of it was bad." And that, what with the boat drivers and such, is very true. Tammy laughs, because it seems like they can't possibly have worse luck than yesterday. Ho-ho-ho! What's that bitter taste in my mouth? WHAT?

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Amazing Race

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