Amazing Race
I'm Not His Wife — He Doesn't Need To Scream At Me

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
A Few Leaders And A Bunch Of Oslo-Rans

As Lori and Bolo head for the flight, she casually, lovingly, reaches over and hand-checks his cranium into the wall. I think that's kind of like a little kiss on the cheek for them. Everybody eventually boards the plane, and as it flies, Phil shows us that indeed, all ten teams are aboard the same Mega-Bunch Express.

Oslo! Oslo! Oslo! The cameramen careen around in their way, and then we see the plane landing. First to be seen running through the airport is Nuance, and then, surprisingly enough, Gus and Hera, enjoying a brief visit to the top of the heap. In the parking lot, when Nuance and Gus and Hera are already gone, Spazpants is having trouble even finding the marked cars, even with the help of their usual problem-solving method of screeching at each other. MJ, as she and Don are loading their bags into the back, realizes that Spazpants is disoriented, and she tries to get Don to duck down so that Jonathan won't be able to spot them, but it looks like she won't be having quite that much luck: whether by spying other teams or not, Spazpants is on the case. Don and MJ move out, and then Spazpants, Hornio, and Lori and Bolo follow.

In the airport, Lena and Kristy pick up a Fern -- specifically, a young man whose father met the girls on the plane and offered him as their tour guide once they landed. Can you really just give away relatives like that? It's like Gigi, if Leslie Caron had been stuffed into the back of an SUV for the whole movie. Once they're all in the car, the Fern is asked, "Would you volunteer if we were big hairy men?" The kid, who looks about seventeen, pauses for a minute, and then shyly says, "No." They all laugh, and Kristy claps him on the arm. Cute. Scandinavian shy boys are cute, it is true.

Meredith and Maria hop into their SUV, Maria driving, but it turns out that this is a manual transmission, and that presents her with a problem. Now, how you could go on this show at this point and fail to teach yourself to drive stick is a mystery to me, but here they are, and it appears that she has no clue. Hasn't learned, hasn't practiced, is totally screwed. And Meredith, in the back seat, is unwilling even to try. Kris and Jon and Hayden and Aaron are behind the girls, and quickly become aware that something is amiss, as Maria keeps stalling the car. Meredith leans out of the car and waves them around. Finally, Maria at least manages to get rolling. Can't really claim to be surprised by the need to drive stick at this late date. I do feel for them, though, all conspicuous like that. I turned from Rice Street onto University Avenue once, trying to figure out what the loud noise was that all the people on the street were reacting to with great horror, very glad it wasn't anything having to do with me. But then I realized they were cringing because I was dragging my muffler. You'd be amazed at the trouble I can get into with cars.

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Amazing Race




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