Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part II

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Dorks on Golf

The Teeth sign in for the BridgeClimb. Blake makes a comment about getting into his "jammies." Why do I suspect they would have little red choo-choo trains on them?

Gary and Dave sit down to, as Gary says, "count how much [they] fleeced from the people of Sydney." I feel a little ill suddenly. They count their money, and agree that if they don't win, they can make a living as beggars. I suppose that's true, and at least they wouldn't be on television, so they've got my vote. I even promise to give them a quarter when I see them.

Boston lands in Melbourne at 12:40 AM. They're scheduled to make Adelaide at 7:25 in the morning, and they're already studying a map to see where they need to go when they get there. Smarter by the minute, I tell you. "We want this to gain us huge time," Alex says. Hmm, well, beware the bunching, Boston.

3:30 AM. Danny and Oswald, snoozing at the hotel. Gary and Dave, snoozing outside. At 4:30 AM, it starts raining but good, and Blake and Paige get up to move inside. "If it's not one thing, it's freaking another," Blake gripes. Cut to Dave, huddling under an overhang with Gary and telling him that you don't do the climb if it's raining. Blake and Paige find their way inside a building and stretch out on the floor. As was pointed out on the forums, Paige's face winds up about an inch from Blake's ass, which doesn't look like a terribly good idea, but at this point I'm with her that it's good that he didn't eat the big fast-food meat pie, because I think that would make it an even worse idea.

At 5:40, a dry and rested Cha-Cha-Cha emerges from the hotel. "Let's go hike the bridge," Danny says cheerily. "Did it rain?" Oswald asks with enchantingly innocent curiosity. "It looks like we're going to be one of the few teams that are going to be dry," he notes. As Tara and Wil approach, Tara asks in disbelief whether they stayed in the hotel, and they tell her that they did. Gary and Dave are on their way, as are Blake and Paige, who tell us that they're off to see "what the rest of the goofballs are doing." I'm sorry, Blake, but you are in no position to pass judgment on the goofballicity of others, considering some of your past exploits. "I'm sure they'll be pleasant as ever," he groans. Oh, shut up.

At the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Danny and Oswald are the first to suit up at 5:45 AM. The outfit features a gray jumpsuit and some climbing-type stuff, and when Gary and Dave start to put it on, Gary comments that "it looks like you're going to be carted off to a mental institution." Well, he would know. Cha-Cha-Cha ascends the many stairs, getting a lovely view of the opera house in the process. Gary and Dave get on the bridge, followed by Wil and Tara. Wil, who isn't so much a big heights-liking type of guy, says that "this is going to be a doozy." Did he say "doozy"? Wow, Bugs Bunny vocabulary! Everything old really is new again.

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Amazing Race

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