Amazing Race
I'm Not A Miner! No, You're An Idiot!, Part II

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Dorks on Golf

Gary and Dave, approaching the Roadblock.

Tara is setting up to throw again. "This is the shot right here," Wil says. "I can feel it." And, unless it's edited funny (which is always possible), he's right, and she gets it in the circle by about an inch. They grab the clue and scoot, and now it's just Cha-Cha-Cha, trying to finish the Roadblock. "Just focus," Danny tells him. Oswald: "Danny, we're gonna be here forever." Hey, none of that with the bad attitude. "Don't say that, you're doing fine," Danny says. "I couldn't have done any better." Interesting, isn't it, that Oswald said it as if he was complaining about the task, and Danny responds to what he thinks Oswald is actually doing, which is feeling bad for being no good at it. That's friends for you, right there.

Wil and Tara head down the hill, with him toting her pack. She finally takes it back from him, and they run for it. They land on the mat and they get their paint, and Phil tells them they're in third. "I'm mad again today," she says. "What are you mad about?" Wil asks. "You quit, like, ten times in the mine," she grouses. Wil tries to be cute in saying that he's "just not cut out for mining." Do I really need to say that he doesn't achieve cute?

Gary and Dave spot the Roadblock flag. Nooooo!

Oswald finally gets the boomerang to drop. Woo! They leave for the pit stop as Gary and Dave head down. When Cha-Cha-Cha lands on the mat and the greeter touches their faces with paint, Danny says, "Is that M.A.C.? Just checking." Hee! They laugh. Phil tells them they're fourth. They're quite relieved. "This is one time when my limp wrist didn't work," Oswald says. See? Not only was he not offended by Tara's comment, but there he is, trying to steal her joke! Joke-stealer. But I still love him. They're happy that they're not eliminated, but fourth place seems like quite the rip-off after the extremely good job they did, particularly in the non-elimination leg.

Gary and Dave at the boomerang circle. Gary takes it. Throw. Throw. Dave: "We've only got about three more hours of daylight." Snerk. Throw. Score! They head for the pit stop. They are Phil-iminated, and not a minute too soon for me. (Okay, maybe Dave was eliminated a minute too soon and Gary a minute too late, which means that it all works out perfectly.) Gary, not content to have me dislike him for his pre-elimination behavior, launches into one more elaborate routine. He and Phil have had some good times, blah dee blah, give him one more chance, blah dee blah, Phil says no, blah dee blah. He and Dave clap each other on the back. "I'm proud of you," Dave says. "I'm never going to speak to you again, but..." Heh. They interview that it was a great experience and so forth, and they'll never forget it, and then Gary says that after he has "a good cry," he'll "pick up the remote and [his] life will start over again." Okay, bye, Gary! He continues talking about how he intends to invest some time in "blaming," starting with Dave, and including the gods, the fates, and the other contestants. Yeah, so, bye, Gary! Back at the mat, he asks Phil whether this is really the end. Phil says yes, as soon as they step off the mat. Right. Anyway, bye, Gary! Gary doesn't want to step off the mat. He and Dave shove each other off. BYE, GARY! Man, you can almost see the thought bubble over Phil's head that says, "I've had athlete's foot that was easier to get rid of."

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Amazing Race

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