Amazing Race
I'm In Russia, Playing With Dolls

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Drivers, divers, and dolls

Speaking of the Roadblock, remember Wanda? Still not diving. Desiree comes over to her. "You are psyching yourself out," she says. "Are you perfectly capable of doing this? Yes, you are." One of the nearby Russian guys says to the non-fish called Wanda, "Breathe out. Kick down." As the guys nearby cheer rather enthusiastically, Wanda finally dives down and grabs their clue. There is applause all around. As they leave, even though Wanda frustrated the hell out of her at that pool, Desiree is a bit weepy talking about how great her mom did at conquering that particular fear. In last place for the moment -- although it's hard to say whether they really are, since Danielle and Dani still have to come back and leave again -- they leave for the cathedral. As they leave, they see the girls -- whom Desiree refers to as "the pinks" in what I am pretending is totally a shout-out -- approaching. Dani grabs the race bag, or so a highly suspicious and set-up-looking shot suggests. With that taken care of, she and Danielle get on their way again.

Joseph and Monica and Dave and Lori head into the cathedral, where they tear into the Detour clue.

BJ and Tyler are driving around, but they realize that they just made a giant circle while hunting for the trolley depot. They get out and start asking strangers, but nobody knows. Interestingly, Fran and Barry show up at the same place, which either means that one of these drivers followed the other one, or there's something that confused both drivers into thinking this was where they wanted to go, because this is not, in fact, where they need to be. When these teams realize that they have no idea where they are or how to get to where they're going, they bail out and head for the theater. In the cab, Barry grumbles, "Can't get a break." Other than, you know, repeatedly having hours of lost time abruptly erased and having another team manage to be so bad that you being an hour and a half behind doesn't cause you to be out. "Can't get a break," indeed.

Ray and Yolanda are the first team to get to the theater. Lake and Michelle and Eric and Jeremy, both of whom seem to have followed Ray and Yolanda and never actually chosen this option, are behind them. These three teams get inside together, and they discover that the producers have done one of my favorite really diabolical things, which is that there's a band here that's going to play peppy Russian music designed to make you go completely insane while you're trying to methodically search through a few hundred Russian dolls. And it's going to play and play and play, and there is nothing you can do about it. Except suffocate the band with your fanny pack, maybe. It would be tempting. Teams begin to open up dolls, and my concern here would be, I think, keeping track of which ones I'd already checked. They're not arranged in a particularly logical grid or anything, so...boy, oh boy, I would hate this. Also, there are dancers. "Why didn't you guys go to the damn car wash?" Eric asks. "We wanted to!" Michelle comes back. "You said you were going to the car wash," Lake argues back. "We tried to; we were following you guys," Eric says. "It's Ray and Yolanda's dumb idea," says (I think) Jeremy, which is a little bit funny. "You should have picked your own damn Detour," Yolanda says firmly, which is definitely funny. And also correct. They all laugh, because...well, what else are you going to do?

Dave and Lori and Joseph and Monica are still looking for the trolley depot. Wanda and Desiree are at the cathedral, and Desiree says, "It's beautiful!" (See what I mean? About the just appreciating, rather than commenting on the fact that you're appreciating?) They take Scrub, figuring they're good at cleaning. Danielle and Dani are just behind them now. It appears that Danielle and Dani don't hold their cab driver, so when they leave the cathedral, they're going to need a new one. They finally find the clue box and decide to do the Scrub as well. They have trouble, however, because none of the taxis they stop seem to know anything about where the trolley depot, and then it looks like they're having some trouble getting a taxi at all.

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