Amazing Race
I'm In Russia, Playing With Dolls

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Drivers, divers, and dolls

Very Scary Hairy Barry (tm M. Giant) jumps into the water. He does not see the clue right away and Fran harasses him about not having studied hard enough when they worked on underwater diving. They did? They should have spent more time in the class on motorcycle assembly. Maybe they decided they were doomed to be unsuccessful and just quit. Meanwhile, BJ and Tyler leave in a cab for the monastery. Barry finally dives down and gets the clue, so they leave in second place, which is pretty good, and certainly far better than they've done with most other things up to this point. Yolanda is next to climb the high dive, as Ray explains that she didn't want to do the dive. She walks out onto the diving board in her bathing suit as a large collection of Russian people look on.

M. Giant: Svim-vear!
Me: Evening-vear!
Trash: Okay, what are you talking about?
M. Giant: With the beach ball!
Me: And the flashlight!
Trash: No. Really. What?
Me: Wendy's. It was something about...choices.
M. Giant: McDonald's is the Soviet Union, as it turns out.

Michelle, standing and waiting for Lake to go, yells encouragement to Yolanda. "It's easy; everybody did it," Ray assures her. It appears that Eric and Lake are both waiting now, so Ray encourages Yolanda to get a move on. Meanwhile, Monica appears to be in a very tiny bathing suit not resembling the ones that people are being assigned to wear here. There are, incidentally, a lot of people around while they're doing this -- there are ladies in the water, and then there are bunches of people just hanging around. I like it when the locals gather to watch the crazy Americans. "Doesn't look like she's going to jump," Jeremy says of Yolanda. But in a very different way than the jerkweeds who ogled her at the motorcycle shop a couple of weeks ago, the crowd begins to applaud encouragingly. Yolanda jumps at last, and everybody cheers. That's cute; this is a nice sequence in that way. No matter what language you speak, everybody knows what a terrified person on a diving board looks like, and everybody knows what applause is, and that will do it, you know? The show tries to tease you briefly with some kind of "What if she never surfaces?" moment, but...that is kind of unlikely. I do not believe she will drown! Watch me go out on a limb! She dives down and gets the clue, and she's done. She seems to be a little teary as Ray gives her a hug and they open the clue. We are informed that someone yells "Good girl!" to her in Russian as she's leaving. Cute, since that's just what I was saying in English.

Lake jumps. Eric jumps. They both go and get clues. Dani jumps. We see Fran and Barry leaving for the monastery, followed by other teams. Eric and Jeremy refer to the girls as "the pretty girls with the big boobies" to their cabbie. It's just all so unnecessary. I mean, if they didn't have big boobs, you'd have to find some way to refer to them, right? So, like, think of what that would be and say it. In their departing cab, Lake complains to Michelle about having had to wear a Speedo in the pool. She thinks he looked fine; he thinks he looked white. He tells her that all things considered, he wishes she'd done it. "Would you really make me get in front of all those Russian people with a bathing suit on?" Like she was going to start a panic or something. It's Moscow, Michelle. They've seen things more likely to shock than you in a bathing suit. It's like she thinks that only in the post-Soviet era did people in Moscow learn about capitalist notions like breasts.

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