Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Barbarians at Hell's Gate

Chip and Kim get out of the water to prepare for the final falls. Chip confirms "the golden rule" for the guide, which is "hang on." And then he hops in. Oooooover the falls!

A Twinkie goes over to a different area of mud, saying that it "feels lucky."

Kim goes oooooover the falls! She survives.

KamiKarli (or possibly KarliKami) pulls a clue out of the mud. "Wooo! Awesome!" says her sibling.

Chip tells Kim how proud he is of her for her sledging skillz, and they smooch. The two teams read the clue for Metapara Farms and take off. In the Twinkie SUV, one of them's like, "Wouldn't it be funny if we were going in the wrong direction again?" "Hysterical," comes the bitchy reply. Chip continues driving while Kim navigates with the map. (And anybody who thinks Kim doesn't do anything? Kim always navigates. Always.) In the Twinkie SUV, Kami frets that they're in last place. In his SUV, Chip frets about exactly the same thing. Driving! Driving! Horns blaring on the soundtrack!

And then someone is pulling into the farms and getting out of the SUV, and it's...Chip and Kim. She pulls the clue. "It's a Roadblock. You're gonna do it, right?" "Uh, what is it?" he asks. "You're gonna do it regardless," she mutters as she opens it, and I have a feeling that what's at work here is that they think they're in last place, and Kim thinks it's because he took it upon himself to fuck around with the Yield, so she's giving him a little bit of shit and not feeling much like doing a Roadblock right now. She reads the "wild ride" clue and repeats, "You are." We watch as Chip barrels down the hill in the zorb, yelling the whole time. Kim cheers for him as he crosses the finish line. They run up to the pit stop. Welcome, Chip and Kim. You are team number four. They are extremely relieved. Phil gives Chip a bit of a bad time about electing against using the Yield. Man, Phil has good spies. Chip chastises himself for "goof[ing] around" and being a "jokester" when confronted with that decision. "So what's the moral of the story?" Phil asks, mock-seriously. "Use the Yield!" Chip laughs back.

In substantially more darkness, the Twinkies pull into the farm, and one or the other -- doesn't matter at this point, does it? -- rolls down the hill in the zorb. She pops out, and they face the music. Twinkies, you are last. And this time, you are going home. Karli voices over that their relationship "could be better." There is some more talk about how being twins means dealing with yourselves twice or something, and how well they know each other, and then there's a weird remark about "being together in different races of our life," and then we're done. Mercifully.

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Amazing Race

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