Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

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Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Barbarians at Hell's Gate

Anyway, when they get out of the water, they pull a clue that tells them to drive themselves 20 miles to Matapara Farms, where they will find another clue box. They leave, talking about adrenaline and being "high on life" and so forth. High on life? Is it 1978 again already?

And now, Chip and Kim and the Twinkies are approaching the museum and -- dun-dun-dunnnnn! -- the Yield box. Chip and Kim pull up, get out, and stand at the Yield box. The Twinkies can actually see them, as they're literally just behind. Standing on the Yield mat, Chip taunts a little, waiting for the Twinkies to get out of their SUV before he starts rummaging through the Yield box for their picture, which is the way you identify whom you're Yielding. "We choose to Yield...," he says, as the Twinkies run toward him, panicking. He pauses. "The..." He pauses again. And then just as they run up to him, he hollers, "Never will we Yield you, because we love you!" Oh, what the FUCK. Chip, use the damn Yield, would you? And he actually hugs them before he leaves. Maybe that whole thing about how this isn't the Amazing Montessori School is just a myth. Some Twinkie voices over about how Chip has, by not using the Yield, "redeemed himself." I don't think it's necessary at this point to say again that Chip has never had anything to redeem himself for, so I just...won't.

Chip runs from the Yield box to the clue box, as he voices over that he didn't Yield the Twinkies largely because he thought the Moms were far behind. However, when he pulls his clue, he learns that there is only the Twinkies' clue left in the box, and he realizes that Linda and Karen are not behind this pair of teams, but ahead of it. Chip and Kim and Kami and Karli read the Detour clue, and while Chip and Kim conclude that the mud would "take too damn long" and head for the falls, the Twinkies decide that they'll do the Dirty option. "I'd rather go in hot mud than cold water right now," one of them remarks. Wow, I don't know what the right way to make a Detour decision is under all circumstances, but I'm pretty sure going by "what I feel like doing" is not the right move.

In the SUV, Chip is talking about how he had believed the Moms were behind them, and now he's thinking they should have Yielded the twins after all. "It completely snatched the rug from beneath me!" he says. He calls it a "huge, huge, huge mistake" not to have used the Yield. The trailing teams make their respective ways toward the Detour options. Dramatic!

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Amazing Race

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