Amazing Race
If I Were In Town, I Would Ask For Your Number

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 2 USERS: A+
Knight Of The Sausages

Meanwhile, Mirna and Charla have earned a trip to the wrong place as a result of being bitches to their driver. At least that's the way I prefer to think of it. They stop a bunch of people on the street and demand to know where the palace is. No "please," no "excuse me," no "I'm sorry to bother you." Just a strange woman walking up saying, "Do you know where the Czapski Palace is?" Like you're just a character in a little play, and the play is about her, always.

Dustin works away at the piano tuning. When she's got it sounding pretty good, she calls over the pianist, who plays the Chopin piece. He declares it good enough, and he gives them their clue. The clue is a piece of music with a name on it, and Phil explains that the name corresponds to a nearby monument. They run off for their cab.

Elsewhere, Mirna stops someone in a security uniform and says she needs Czapski Palace. "No," he says. Of course, we don't even know that the guy speaks English, so it's a little presumptuous to assume he's blowing her off to be rude, but as you can imagine, that's just what Mirna thinks. In fact, she can't imagine what's wrong, and the possibility that there's a language issue doesn't really seem to register. In an interview, she basically says that people in Poland are rude and unhelpful, and nobody in America would understand, because we never have such people here. Note the way Mirna says to one guy in particular, "You know how to SPEAK? Can you TALK?" You can just see that while her attitude might not be the only root cause of people not helping, everything she's doing is making it less likely, not more likely, that anyone will go out of their way to get her where she needs to go. She's being incredibly demanding and entitled, which is not going to make her any friends in any country. She also bitches in her interview that she doesn't understand why people wouldn't "reach out to two young girls." I hate to break this to her, but Mirna is 30. Charla is 30, too. Neither of them is a "young girl" by any -- ANY -- definition that doesn't exist in a science fiction novel, and neither of them is so young that she should be pitied for her obviously infirm state. Mirna, of course, thinks that this is happening because Charla is a little person. It must be convenient to travel with Charla and therefore never have to admit that your team's worst handicap is your own presumptuous ass.

Charla and Mirna see Danny and Oswald's taxi go by. Danny and Oswald find Fauxpin, and they choose the piano, although Danny thinks maybe the mannequin would be easier. They get back with their driver, with whom they're striking up a little friendship. "How do you say 'three musketeers' in Polish?" they wonder. Hee. Finally, Charla and Mirna finally do something constructive and go to a hotel where the guy speaks English and is entirely helpful giving directions. According to Mirna's theory, he must not really be Polish. They must have shipped him in from America, where helpful strangers live.

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Amazing Race




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