Amazing Race
I Need Hair to Be Pretty

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A-
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Dave finishes up, being a little pissy with his instructor for not leading him out of there quickly enough for his liking. "You gotta help me out, I've never been here before." He dicks. Other Rachel just smiles complacently at seeing someone else get to deal with his assholery for once. JJ informs art that Dave's done and Brendon's down to a roll and a half, so Art needs to gut it out. Outside, Vanessa's still down, saying, "I think I heard it pop. Oh my God!" Ralph sympathetically tells her to stop yelling. Inside the building, Dave swaps his sarong for the clue, saying to the supervisor, "It doesn't look good on me." Meanwhile, Vanessa is trying to walk. She interviews, "People see me and they see big eyes, big hair, big boobs, and they think, 'she must be a bimbo.'" I might have been a bit guilty of that myself, before I heard her talk. But then, after we've just watched her rolling around on the sidewalk in pain for a while, she continues, "I'm so much tougher than I look. I have a really high tolerance for pain." She tells Ralph she thinks she just twisted it, but he's still carrying both of their bags to the taxi. As a result of her mishap, Other Rachel and Dave end up getting underway in their taxi before Vanessa and Ralph do.

Back inside the building, Brendon is on his last roll of rope by the time Art finishes up the Roadblock. JJ loudly tells Art to hurry, because Bopper and Mark are probably going to do the Fast Forward. But only if they're idiots, or if someone tells them it's still in play. JJ hectors Rachel some more about not doing it herself, and she tells him says you had to shave your head. "It's a tough decision for a woman, I know," JJ condescends. He interviews that he was actually concerned about it, so he tried to get Rachel to reconsider taking it. "The hammer's gonna fall on you," he warns Rachel. "It's gonna be perfect for Mark and Bopper." JJ interviews after the leg, "She's a very nice lady. She really is." And now the list of Things JJ Has Said That I Don't Believe has a new entry at the tippy-top of the list. "But I think she's a little bit gullible," JJ goes on. "You just gotta say a few key words." By which he means that back outside the Roadblock, he tells her that she'd look good bald. I like how he made himself out to be some brilliant puppetmaster when all he had to do was press the one button Rachel has. She's like a human Office Max commercial that way. JJ brusquely rushes Art out of there, whispering to him that he's doing it strategically so Art shouldn't get mad. While Brendon finishes the Roadblock, Rachel is clearly having second thoughts. Or, because it's Rachel, "thoughts." Brendon reads the clue and they're off in fourth place...to the barber under the ancient tree. Who will shave their heads! Not really.

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Amazing Race

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