Amazing Race
I Need Hair to Be Pretty

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: A-
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Slow Forward

Bopper and Mark reach the Fast Forward, which Mark reads. Mark, who is already spear bald, laughs at Bopper as they sit sown on the mat. Bopper isn't bothered by this at all. "He can cut my leg off while he's at it, I don't care." Just be sure to take the bad one.

Art and JJ deliver their boxes and get their clue, then get back into their auto rickshaw for the ride to the ferry. "I hope we didn't pick the wrong of the two Detours," Art says vainly. And incorrectly.

Mark, who underwent a minute or two of shaving just as a formality or something, watches Bopper get shorn. "You don't look as good as me, but you look good, bro." Actually, with his Charles Napier chin, tiny little eyes, and newly exposed scalp, Bopper looks like a white supremacist. But they're off to the Pit Stop, which is what matters. "Kentucky's still in the game," Bopper crows.

Now it's the mad race to the ferry. Art and JJ are snarled in a traffic jam, and handling the frustration with their trademark Zen-like calm. Bopper and Mark are talking, rather prematurely, about getting into the final three. Then there's a transition shot showing the ferry, and at last Art and JJ stomp grumpily up to the mat. "I don't think I need to tell you that things just haven't gone your way today," Phil tells them gravely. JJ is on the verge of tears as he says, "No matter what you do, when you fail, it's tough." Art insists that they didn't fail; they did everything they set out to do. Well, aside from winning every leg. And then Phil tells them they're team number four. "You're still in the race! Why aren't you happy, dude, you should be jumping up and down for joy!" They're just standing there in shock for a minute, not least of all because Phil just called them "dude." Phil tweaks JJ for crying, and Art says they're going to win this race. "So we've got blood, we've got sweat, and we've got tears, and if that's not enough to win a million bucks, I don't know what is. 'Cause ain't no other team out there that has all three."

Bopper and Mark finally make it to the mat, quite cheerful to have arrived at all. Phil tells them they're the last team to arrive. "And I'm very sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from the race." They say they did everything they could. "Right down to taking off your hair," Phil agrees. He congratulates them on making it ten legs against tough teams (and Vanessa and Ralph), going places they've never been. He leaves out the part about how they came in last for 30% of those legs, however. Bopper says they had an amazing time on the Amazing Race, and has no words to describe all he's done. Mark talks about why it's called the Amazing Race, and we get their second farewell montage in as many weeks while Bopper interviews, "We made one deal before we left home: We're leaving as friends, and we're coming back home as friends." Well, he still may not know about Mark outing his crush on Jamie. Bopper interviews that Kentucky should be proud of him "for putting 175% on the table, for Clay County and Kentucky Proud." And with that, they hoist their backpacks and walks off to Sequesterville, clasping hands. I'm sorry to see them go, especially because I would have been happy to have seen them go sooner, when Bopper was still one of the more annoying individuals in the race.

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Amazing Race

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