Amazing Race
I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Buoy Oh Buoy

Rob and Kimberly are back at the park, and they bail out and let their cab go. Rob apparently stiffs the driver for not following Tyler and James effectively enough. Boo! It seems to me you have to pay the fare whether or not the guy can effectively follow another cab. At any rate, they flag down a new driver and have him listen with them to the clue. The rest of the teams are taking notes and collaborating with drivers as well. Everybody gets on their way, but Rob is already anxious that their new driver is "stoned." "Bro." He is a hard man to please. And immediately, they start complaining that their guy is driving in a circle, doesn't know where he's going, on and on and on. "Absolute communication breakdown," Rob says miserably. Kimberly tells him to calm down, but awesomely, Rob says, "He's just toying with us right now." Ah, yes. The driver is up in the front seat, rubbing his hands together and cackling to himself. "They will never see it coming -- never! I will toy with them. TOY, I tell you!" Rob wants out of this terrible, terrible cab with its inconsiderate driver who only speaks the language of the country where he lives.

When we return from commercials, the Pointies arrive at the garden once again. They bail out of the cab and stiff this driver as well. They now get a third driver, and he finally listens to the clue with them. He indicates that he knows where he's going, so off they go. "Finally, a competent cab driver," Rob snots once they're on their way. He adds, "I'm done talking with foreigners." All righty, then. That ought to make for an interesting race. He has just made another argument in favor of my favorite imaginary rule: You Say It, You Do It. It goes for "I quit -- I'm done!", "I am never talking to you again," "I'm not doing that," and now, "I'm done talking with foreigners." What I'd really like is if the message could be spread to all the world's "foreigners," so that wherever Rob went, when he tried to ask directions, the person he talked to would say, in his or her native language, "I'm sorry, did someone say something? I thought I heard something, almost like someone talking to a foreigner, but...wait, did you hear anything?" And his companion would say, "Oh, no, Pierre, I didn't hear anything," and then they would laugh and go back to smoking.

Meanwhile, it seems that Mary and Dave's driver is confused, and he needs to get out of the cab and listen to the clue again. Yipes. That is not good news.

You'll remember that way back a long time ago, a couple of teams took off right away from the park without making sure their drivers knew where they were going, and we now check in with those teams: first, we see Lyn and Karlyn, who are realizing that their driver in fact doesn't know where to go. You can kind of tell that they're in trouble with all the phonetic Vietnamese, given that Karlyn has written down "Hydroform Tavern" instead of "Hydrofoil Harbor." Even the English words did not survive the note-taking intact, so you can only imagine how crystal-clear the sounded-out Vietnamese must be. Dustin and Kandice, on the other hand, have lucked out, and they are at the right place, pulling up at the bus station. They're closely followed by Tyler and James. Peter thinks his driver is going the wrong way, but Tom and Terry -- who have a Fern with them -- are right there, closely followed by the *wins. Meanwhile, Lyn and Karlyn find a friendly helper who gives some instructions to their hapless cab driver, who would have driven them to Cleveland if no one had intervened. And now, Peter and Sarah are arriving at the bus station after all -- followed by Lyn and Karlyn, who presumably weren't too far off the mark. What a lot of squandered suspense almost immediately. Rob and Kimberly are arriving convinced that they're in last place, which they aren't -- they're still ahead of Dave and Mary. But they are in seventh, which is a lot worse than the way they left. Of course, when they get to the bus station, they learn along with everyone else that the bus station is closed until morning, at 5:00 AM. Rob tells the A(AM!)s that he's just had "the worst taxi experience in the history of taxi drivers." That is completely not true. Kimberly points out to the A(AM!)s, interestingly, that Rob responds to that kind of situation by yelling at the drivers, which doesn't exactly help the situation. One of the A(AM!)s tells Rob that freaking out at your driver is "the global killer." Hey, if he wants to advocate kindness to people in the transportation industry as a means of self-preservation, I'm all for it.

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Amazing Race




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