Amazing Race
I Got Electrocuted!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Going, Going, Gondola

As Charla and Mirna drive, Mirna asks Charla to tell her what to do. "Go straight!" Charla says. Meanwhile, Brandon tells Nicole -- in the trailing car -- "Go left here." Nicole notes that Charla and Mirna are going straight, but Brandon tells her they really do need to go left. Nicole wonders where Charla and Mirna are going, and Brandon says, "They're not going the right way." Up in her car, Mirna notes that suddenly, nobody is behind them anymore. Back in the Blue Lagoon-mobile, Brandon says what sounds like, "Mirna and Charla didn't catch up, so we can't slow down too much...we've got teams on our back." So I think they did wait a little bit, but having already lost time, they don't want to wait indefinitely. Furthermore, they have no idea where Mirna and Charla are, or whether they'll ever come along this route to the airport at all, since if they get down the road and get new directions, they might go a different way entirely and Brandon and Nicole would never see them. So you can't wait for them indefinitely -- that's not one of the choices. I think Brandon and Nicole, as the following car, had very few options in that situation, as it was clear that they didn't realize Mirna and Charla were going the wrong way until it was already happening. "Now we're lost," Mirna declares in her car as she fusses prettily, "because we trusted somebody." Oh, please. You are lost because Charla said, "Go straight," and the right answer was "Go left." It happens. It doesn't mean you're being mistreated. It's this endless ability to blame everyone else for everything that happens that just makes me really, really not like her. The very idea that Brandon and Nicole are the reason she's lost, as opposed to, at worst, not having done quite enough to rescue her ass after she got herself lost, is completely delusional. ["Furthermore, nobody is required to wait for your ass. Why? That's right, kids: Raaaaace." -- Sars]

12:28 AM. Karen and Linda. "Come on, wee-hee-hee!" Linda squeaks as they run to the car. I'm telling you, if they keep squeaking like that, there are going to be casualties. Starting with my eardrums, which I will pierce with barbecue forks. But not right now, because I would be really sad if the last thing I ever heard was "wee-hee-hee!"

12:31 AM. Bob and Joyce leave. Karen explains in her car that they agreed with Bob and Joyce to help each other if they could. As Linda drives through the mud and Karen cautions her not to go too fast, Linda yells, "You forgot my middle name's Mario Andretti!" Karen interviews that Linda is "so vivacious." By which she means "hella squeaky." Joyce, meanwhile, interviews that she and Bob believe that you don't have to be all fit and muscled to win, you just have to keep your head and "handle the stress." Which seems like it should be true, and yet three out of four of the winning teams look like they are made up of bouncers, so...I mean, whatever. I'd like to think they're right, and there really is no bouncer team this year, so we're bound to get a different result. Which is good, because I'm kind of tired of the list of winners including only bouncers and Flo. (Oh, my God, Bouncers and Flo is totally my new buddy-cop film. Don't you dare steal it.)

Charla and Mirna are lost as usual, and Mirna is asking for directions to the airport. Just in case "air-o-puerta" from Mirna isn't adequate to inform the poor lady they're bothering what it is they're looking for, Charla spins around, giving a little airplane imitation. "Charla, get in the car, forget about it!" Mirna barks. Wow. Thanks, Bossy van Snippypants. We'll all just line up to take our orders from you, I suppose. Elsewhere, Brandon and Nicole approach the airport. "It looks desolate," he comments as they go inside. Well...it is the middle of the night. Not exactly prime time for airports to be hopping. In fact, I'd say it's the time of night where people getting on red-eye flights expect you to allow them to peacefully sleep standing up in the security line.

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Amazing Race

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