Amazing Race
I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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What A Croc

2:17 AM. Peter and Sarah. Sarah explains in an interview that her feelings for Peter have changed, and that she doesn't have him on a "pedestal" like before. I don't understand how anyone could have that guy on a pedestal. God. If you're going to put him somewhere metaphorical, I suggest a giant trash can. He's already hollering at her as they go for a taxi.

2:21 AM. James and Tyler. You won't believe this, but James reveals in an interview that they are recovering addicts (and models!), and that when things on the race feel out of his control, he can draw on his experience with powerlessness over drugs. Or something. Which I guess means that... he should quit taking taxis cold turkey and join a program? I don't really understand. He says that their experiences with drugs and alcohol give them an advantage over other teams, and I'm just not feeling that, sorry. They get a taxi driver, but they have some trouble trying to explain that they need the train station. They do refrain from "train-o" as well as the commonly used "choo-choo," first trying a more modern "ch-ch-ch" train sound then switching to a little drawing of a train. But it turns out that the best thing to do is show the driver the clue. Who'd have thought? In the car, Tyler laughs at James, saying, "That train was wack, bro." My internal alarm goes off in response to their high-density dudespeak. "Wack" or "bro" in a sentence, but not both.

2:25 AM. The *wins. They are wearing matching shirts with the word "LOST" on them and a picture of Phil, though it's hard to make out yet what exactly the rest of the shirt says. I'm certainly not above sporting a picture of Phil, so I'm behind that. Erwin explains that their first priority is to "enjoy the adventure." They add that if they wanted the money, they'd be lying and cheating more. I'm not sure what they'd be lying and cheating about, so much, but I assume they know. Maybe they'd be lying about their love of Phil, which they clearly are not.

2:49 AM. Dave and Mary. Dave explains in their mat-leaving interview that he wants to win the race in order to get out of the coal mine. I'd say that's a fairly compelling reason. He talks about taking his kids to Disneyland or on airplanes, and it's very nice to hear people aspire to things you could actually do with a million dollars after taxes, rather than "I'd never have to work again," "I would roll around in my gold bullion for all eternity," and other fantasies. Because you could, in fact, just about afford Disneyland. Of course, then: back to the coal mine. In your Mickey Mouse ears.

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Amazing Race

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