Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Ladies First

Thomas is ready to move on to part three, while Brook is moving faster on part two. Nat and Kat run around to the front of the stadium where a line of taxis is waiting, waxing optimistic about getting their hands on an iPhone. Working their way down the line, they keep asking driver after driver if they have one. Eventually they just get into a cab, but when the driver doesn't know who Sancho Panza is, they get right back out again, like they're any better. They're still searching while Thomas and Brook continue the Road Block, eating up their lead. Don't make a career of this, ladies.

And yet they're still asking drivers about Sancho Panza when we come back. "Where is that? Which freeway?" one driver asks. Not an encouraging sign.

Thomas asks for a check of his work, and he's good, so he and Jill get their clue in second place. Outside the grounds, Nat and Kat have given up on finding a driver who's already got what they need and just commit to one by getting into his taxi, agreeing to call information on the way. Jill and Thomas grab the first taxi they see. Before even pulling out, Nat is on their driver's phone saying, "Hi. I'm sorry. I'm in a race. Um, I'm just wondering, do you know who Sancho Panza is?" And if I'm a 411 operator, right then is when I decide I'm being fucked with. Jill, meanwhile, is showing their list of questions to the driver of their cab. They're on their way out of the parking lot in what is effectively a randomly chosen direction, while Nat is trying to get an information operator to Google something and getting shot down. Nat doesn't take no for an answer, which to me is even more impressive than getting dropped off a crane, but at least she's doing better than Jill and Thomas. "Can you call a friend who's near a computer?" Thomas asks their driver. "No, it's my computer," the driver says. If non sequiturs were stars, that would be a singularity. It allows no illumination to escape. Nat's operator agrees to help if she makes it quick. Jill and Thomas ask if they can talk to Dispatch on their driver's phone. Nat asks, "can you just Google Sancho Panza's master?" Thomas asks Dispatch the same question. Wait, so he doesn't know either? What are they teaching people at Notre Dame, particularly in the Spanish department? I just stopped worrying about them passing Nat and Kat, that's for damn sure.

Brook has finished the Road Block, so she skips over to the Rose Queen. "I love your crown!" she says. Nat has at least learned from Information that Sancho Panza is a character in Don Quixote. I'm really not trying to be all superior about that. It's just that Cervantes' novel is one of the earliest literary examples of satire and parody, which makes it required reading for all TWoP staff. I really should read it one day. Meanwhile, Dispatch has hung up on Thomas, and he's asking their driver if he knows anyone who has internet at their house. The driver's like, "I have GPS!" Thomas makes agitated gestures with his gluey hands, trying to convey the esoteric idea of a Google search. Meanwhile, behind them, Kat says there's a Quixote Studios, and Nat confirms it with the operator. And Thomas is reduced to asking their driver, "Do you know what a Google search is? On the internet? Do you know what the internet is?" Which seems like a completely condescending, insulting, offensive question. But then the driver admits, "No." Well, at least Thomas doesn't have to feel bad about being condescending, insulting, or offensive. Not that he ever does.

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Amazing Race

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