Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
The program gets a little buggy

In a quickie interview at the gate, Jon explains that they arrived first at the airport, but that "there's this thing called the airport equalizer." Way to miss your shot at the shout-out, punk. The Brisbane-Cairns flight takes off, carrying all three teams. For some reason, when we arrive at the Cairns airport and swing over to look at the three marked cars that await the teams, there is a creepy, Psycho-ish strum of music, as if each of the cars is carrying a pack of attack monkeys or something, which -- and I'm sorry if this spoils the suspense -- is not the case. The teams all dash out of the airport in a big clump and run to the cars. Kelly happily observes that she and Jon are first into the cars, and it's going to get really old really quickly if she keeps telling us all the time that they're first to this and first to that. They all caravan out of the airport one after the other. Reichen says that he and Chip are "literally six feet behind David and Jeff, who are six feet behind Kelly and Jon." And by "literally six feet," he means "a few car lengths." Sigh. In the Kelly and Jon car, she comments that the two guy teams both seem awfully intense, which is making her nervous. Jon thinks she has nothing to be nervous about, based on how the racing has actually been going. "You're not the only girl; you don't have to feel the way I feel." And with that, I am officially tired of that motif. I gave her some slack for it at the beginning, but it's time to put it down, dear. I don't think Sally Ride gave herself as much play for going without gravity as Kelly has for going without Starbucks.

Some actual car racing ensues, complete with tense racing music, as Who tries to pass Kelly and Jon. Jon stays even with them, and because there's a car in front of them, David and Jeff aren't able to pass. Jeff tells David to flash his brights at the guy in front of them. Oooh, I hate people who do that. I love, however, the way Jeff hangs roguishly onto the handle over the car door like he's on an unsecured boat in a Duran Duran video. The teams pull even for a bit, and then Jon pulls out ahead, chuckling as he goes. "We are just having a little game of cat and mouse," he remarks. He points out that the girl in the car next to him, ahead of David and Jeff, is helping with a sort of rolling blockade that keeps Team Who from passing. It takes a village, you know. But will she share in the million? Noooo. "This has to be drivin' them crazy," Jon laughs.

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Amazing Race




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