Amazing Race
He's A Few Ticks Away From Having A Heart Attack!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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The program gets a little buggy

Commercials. Nicolas Cage with tics in a commercial for thirty seconds? Kind of funny. Nicolas Cage with tics in a movie for two hours? Bring on the extra-large bottle of Tums.

We return to Jon and Kelly in their car, where she is despairing that they haven't done anything right all day. In the back of the car, she remarks, "You get to a point when you're that stupid...that's when you need to be eliminated." Heh.

Back at the beach, the two teams of boys are hunting for clue clusters. The Chipsters reach a race flag and de-horse. They look around for the clue cluster, and eventually find it. When they open the clue, however, it says, "Sorry. Try again." They get back on their horses and get going, with Chip voicing over that he was very "bummed out" that they struck out on the first group of clues. They see another flag and take off in its general direction. Reichen hops off the horse and scampers up to take the clue from a crevice between a couple of rocks. "Aw, shit," he says as he finds another "Sorry. Try again." clue. "This sucks," they mutter as they head off in the other direction.

David and Jeff, meanwhile, are reaching a flag down the beach in the opposite direction. The first set of clues they find, sort of stuffed into the side of a tree, is the one they need, so they've hit the Detour jackpot. They find a real clue telling them to drive themselves to the town of Julatten and look for something called the "Off-Road Rush," which Phil explains is an "adventure sports company."

Jon unhappily notes the presence of the other two cars as he and Kelly arrive at the beach. "Jon, let's just get it done," Kelly says, trying for a mellow moment. They run to the clue box and talk about the options. She wants to do the horses, and he agrees. As they get ready to leave, the Chipsters are coming back past the starting line, having come up empty. Jon notes that obviously, the Chipsters didn't find a clue by going left, so he and Kelly should go right. Reichen snorts in a voice-over, "Jon and Kelly followed us like flies on cow manure." Of course, flies don't quite "follow" cow manure. It's not easy to make a wrong turn in the middle of a joke that short, but again, Reichen displays a remarkable ability to make cliché-slaw of a sort, in which the clichés are still recognizable, but in a different form than you expect.

David is encouraging Jeff to hurry as they leave the clue cluster, because he sees the other teams coming down the beach. Jeff, in particular, seems to be awfully hard on that horse, pulling incredibly tightly around its mouth, the poor thing. I don't like thinking about the horse going "Ow! Ow! Ow!" as he heads down the beach. As the Whos and Chipsters pass each other, there are some Chipster voice-overs about how bad David and Jeff looked riding the horses, and...yeah, it's true, actually, although I'm not quite sure what Chip means when he says Jeff looked like "a frozen rabbit." What exactly does a frozen rabbit look like, and where would Chip have seen one? Do they ride horses? The Chipsters find their way to their third consecutive empty clue cluster, so it's back on the horses to find the last one, which they now know must have the clue in it. Meanwhile, the departing David and Jeff pass Jon and Kelly on the beach, and then they head for their car. Before they go, they ask a passing friendly motorist for directions to Julatten, which he's kind enough to provide.

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Amazing Race

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