Amazing Race
Here We Go, Baby, Off To Win A Million Bucks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
Brazil nuts

Desiree and Wanda book themselves on United. Dave and Lori are still behind them, and then John and Scott, and then Ray and Yolanda. Dave and Lori make the United flight just as a dejected Joseph and Monica finally arrive there. They quickly realize that they are probably not getting on this flight either. Scott and John get on United, but they're the last ones. Therefore, Ray and Yolanda, Monica and Joseph, and Lake and Michelle all are running for Continental. Lake has decided that they have to get to the last flight first, so he yells at Michelle to run. When she points out that she is running, he tells her, "That black girl can outrun you." Now, I'm not one to necessarily assume racism from referring to someone as "that black girl," because identifying characteristics are identifying characteristics, and sometimes they are just a cigar. On the other hand, it's so unnecessary in this case, you know? If you need to explain that you're talking about her and you don't know her name, maybe. But specifically calling out, essentially, "You'd better beat that black girl to the other counter!" to your wife strikes me as fundamentally different in a way that grosses me out. Not racist, necessarily, but defiantly tin-eared, with a fuck-you sort of "I temper my speech for no man" kind of attitude. It's just not necessary. Joseph doesn't understand why people are running, because it's the last flight anyway. There is the "sit near the front" argument, but at this early stage, that is very, very unlikely to matter.

At the Continental counter, Ray asks Lake his name. "Lake, man," Lake responds. And then he adds, "Like the ocean." Can I just say that if I had been named "Lake" my entire life, I think I would have noticed that a lake is not like the ocean? A lake is practically nothing like the ocean, except that they both are bodies of water. You couldn't say "like Lake Michigan," or "like a boat on the lake," or "like you swim in a lake"? You have to say "like the ocean"? Whatever. Ray has my back, because he effortlessly responds, "Ray. Like the sun." It's sad that he came up with his response in five seconds and it's better and more accurate than the one that Lake uses for himself. Anyway, these couples get their Continental tickets, followed by Joseph and Monica.

Phil explains that on the American flight, we have Danielle and Dani, BJ and Tyler, and Fran and Barry. The Continental flight due to get in last carries Lisa and Joni, Lake and Michelle, Ray and Yolanda, and Joseph and Monica. The flight scheduled to come in between the other two carries Eric and Jeremy, Dave and Lori, Wanda and Desiree, and John and Scott. The Amazing Map shows the Amazing Green, Blue, and Red lines making their way from Denver to Brazil. It's an explosion of creativity, like even the graphics department is so fucking happy that they don't have to just trace interstates this time. Phil voices over that "delays in connecting cities have changed arrival times." He reminds us that once they get there, they'll need to get to the roof of the Hotel Unique. (Also known, apparently interchangeably, as the Unique Hotel.) Look, Sao Paulo has shoeshine people and dancing. Take that, Salt Lake City!

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Amazing Race




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