Amazing Race
Herculean Effort For Some Herculean Dudes

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Greece, Lightning

10:33 PM. Eric and Jeremy are in first place again, forcing the women of the world to continue to only hope that the fellas will turn and look over their shoulders long enough to give little old us a second glance. They haven't been talking nearly as much recently about all the nonstop action they get; I really miss that. The clue tells them to take a train to Rome, which is, after all, almost as ruined as they are. Drunken careening! As the music swells to a booming theme somewhere between a passionate gladiator medley and the opening strains of "Thriller," Phil explains that in Rome, they will find Trevi Fountain, where there will be a man with a yellow and red scooter, and that man -- who may or may not be named Mayor McCheese -- will give them a clue. Seriously, I appreciate the effort to enforce thematic consistency, but I don't know why they decided to steal the McDonald's color scheme. Phil is nobody's hamburger-pushing clown. At any rate, it turns out that there are already tickets in the packet for the 8:00 AM train to Rome, so the guys leave for the station. Eric explains in an interview that they find it fun while they're on the race to just "tease [them]selves all day." They are not the first comedians to decide to aim their humor at their most receptive audience, that's for sure. "Let's find out where this bitch is," one of them mutters as they get into their car to head for the train. Do you hear that, Siracusa train station, you bitch?

10:38 PM. BJ and Tyler. They cough up another "Andiamo!" on the way off the mat. I think when he's tired, Tyler doesn't have a lot to offer other than that or "Chef Boyardee!" So he's actually chosen the less culturally insensitive option, which is a little scary. Tyler interviews that they're just as intense about the game as anyone else, but they're also taking the time to keep a positive attitude and, of course, mock the locals for the way they talk. They are so adorable that I just want to wrap them up in several layers of macramé and smoke them in incense until they wheeze for mercy.

11:40 PM. Joseph and Monica. She is very happy about heading to Rome, unsurprisingly, although she talks about how the race sometimes makes her feel "like [she's] going crazy," which many of us have noticed while watching her announce, for instance, that carrying a fish is the worst thing she's ever done in her entire life. She mentions how they go from doing great to having her "bawling and freaking out." Self-awareness is certainly worth something. Monica also mentions that she's always afraid of someone racing right past them. "That fear really makes you very emotional," she says. Also making her emotional: sad songs that say so much, kitties, and probably Ace Young. Just a guess; she seems like the type to go for that whole "Oh, baby, kiss me and let this butterfly alight on your finger" thing. As they leave in their car, she says, "Ugh, it smells like dead fish in here." I bet it does, too, and that would not be what I would want to encounter right at the beginning of a leg. This entire leg kind of makes me hope that the people who rented the cars to this show were really well compensated. I have a feeling they'll be showing this one at the European Rental Car Dealers' Association Conference as part of the presentation Reality, No!.

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Amazing Race




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