Amazing Race

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

Jaime and Cara are still in search of a taxi on the busy highway that passes in front of the National Opera, but every one of them is occupied. "It's cause China's so damn populated, that's why there's no fricking empty taxis," Jaime complains. She tries to flag down some passing bicyclists for help, and when that doesn't work, says, "Surely they know the name 'taxi' and they're playing dumb." I would agree with the first part of her statement after hearing Tammy and Victor hailing cabs with a sound like "tak-shii" for the last three episodes, but as for the second part, perhaps it's the bicyclists who think that Jaime's the stupid one for not being able to find one on her own. Besides, if these locals were big cab users, they wouldn't be on bicycles, would they? Duh. They run up to one that's empty and hung up in traffic, saying, "Emergency, emergency!" But the cab drives away without them. "This is it for us," Jaime says. "This is how you lose a race because we never fucking have a damn taxi. Ever. Ever!" Oh, if only she knew they were only a mile and a half from where they're supposed to be, they could just walk there. They'll be doing more walking than that later in the episode anyway.

A commercial break later, they finally get a taxi. "Whether he knows or not, we're taking it," Jaime declares.

"Even the locals are grossed out," Tammy observes as Victor chokes down a scorpion. Must be his manners. I mean, local delicacy or not, nobody wants to see those bug-legs sticking out between his lips. She does a little dance to show he's doing great and asks him what's next. He swallows a grasshopper popper. "It's perfect. I didn't eat breakfast today," he says. Got to give him credit; it's not everyone who can be that positive while eating an insect.

Kisha and Jen come up empty when they ask a storekeeper where they're going. "It's in their own language," Jen complains. Yes, and I can tell you exactly where every obscure establishment in Minneapolis is, as long as you ask me in English.

Jaime and Cara are in the right neighborhood, because they spot Margie and Luke wandering around in costume. "We're not too far behind," Cara says hopefully. They stop and ask Margie if there's been a U-Turn yet, and she says it's coming up. They run into the Opera House hoping it's not going to be them. Margie drafts a local to show them where to go, and hurries her along, which is why it's too bad that we can clearly see that the faster they move in their current direction, the more distance they'll put between themselves and where they're supposed to be.

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Amazing Race

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