Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
The Squid and the Fail

Luke's trying to powder Margie's face, but she's complaining and moving and blowing big white clouds off of herself. She keeps turning to look at herself in the mirror and complain about Luke's heavy-handed technique. He gets increasingly frustrated with her makeup-seat driving. "He made me look like Alice Cooper," Margie complains afterward in an interview. Thanks for the dated reference there, Margie. Please leave those to younger people like myself. So let's see here...Insane Clown Posse? No? Well, shit. I guess I'm old too. She keeps bitching about how badly he's doing, while by this time Kisha has the red part of Jen's face done and has moved onto the white. Their gnome awaits on the makeup table, sporting a headdress of its own. The cuter they try to make these gnomes, the more I want someone to break them up into pieces that are small enough to be flushed down an airplane toilet. Luke and Margie continue fighting until Luke throws down the makeup brush and says, "I'm finished. I'm finished." He seems to mean, "I quit" rather than "I have completed the task to my satisfaction." Conduct unbecoming a frontrunner, to be sure.

After the ads, Kisha and Jen finish up and move on to the costuming part. Meanwhile, Luke has decided to finish after all, in the actual finishing sense. They switch places.

Over at the restaurant, Team Family Law makes their table repeat their orders. Heaving recited along with her during the last attempt, Victor promises to let Tammy say it all to the chef this time, but just can't help speaking along with her again as she reads. This time it's good, so the kitchen staff gets cooking. They could have lost a lot more time if the task had been designed differently. Meaning, what if they had had to wait for a whole table's worth of orders to be whipped up after their first attempt, and they didn't find out they'd blown it until after they tried to give someone a plate of Good Luck Squid? That would not have been lucky at all. Luckier for them than for the squid, admittedly, but still.

Way back at the Detour clue box, Team Go Team is still trying to get a cab. Eventually they get in one, and decide to convey the idea of "Beijing Opera" by singing. He nods and smiles, and they're happy to be on their way.

Victor and Tammy deliver the dishes, and in case you thought these dishes were a rather incongruous mix of the exotic and the mundane, it's worth noting that the "fried chicken" still has its head on. They get their clue, and are unable to read where it's sending them. Whatever the case, here's Phil, telling us that this is the second of two U-Turns on the Race. As you'll recall, the U-Turn allows a team to make another team do the other half of the Detour they just finished. But unlike the other one way back in Siberia that helped dispatch Amanda and Kris, this one is not blind. "If a team chooses to use it," Phil warns, "they must post their own picture, and will be held accountable to the team they've slowed down." If they ever see them again, that is. Running out of the restaurant, Victor says that the "on foot" part of the clue means they're close. In an interview, they discuss the other three teams. "Margie and Luke are the strongest team." When they're not being snippy with each other. "Jaime and Cara have the greatest competitive spirit." Translation: Jaime is an asshole. "But Jennifer and Kisha are the most athletic team, and I do not want to be in a footrace with them at the end of the day." They approach a uniformed officer, who points them right back inside the complex they just stepped out of. Which, if we had to narrow it down to one incident, is when they won the leg. IF they did win it, that is. No spoilers here!

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Amazing Race




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