Amazing Race

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

Margie and Luke find the bikes. Actually, Luke finds them first, and yells at his mom to follow. Despite her earlier threats, she does not quit. Jaime and Cara are dropped off right near the Forbidden City, but they don't see the bikes, so they get back in the cab. They must have gone to the wrong side. And now, having begun the second half of the leg in first place, they are officially in last place, because Kisha and Jen have found the bicycles. Luke nearly runs Jen down as she runs for her bike. It looks like an accident, but he doesn't look like he feels too bad about it, either. Then we see the sisters pedaling along with Kisha in the lead and calling back to see if Jen is okay. "Hell, no, my hands are cold!" she answers. Kisha laughs. And Team Go Team finally finds the bicycles, with Jaime opining, "That fricking sucked." Off they go, with no idea of the fricking sucking that still awaits them.

Waiting at a traffic signal, Victor and Tammy watch a regiment of soldiers conducting the flag-raising ceremony. They ride past Tiananmen Square, and Tammy giggles at the giant portrait of Chairman Mao gazing out at them. In an interview, Victor says how cool that was, and then they spot the clue box. Which is not down in the subway station at all, but right out on the sidewalk, practically visible from space. Victor's fingers are so cold he has to rip the envelope open with his teeth. And it's a Detour.

Phil says this is about "Two local professions famous throughout the world." The choices are called "Beijing Opera" and "Chinese Waiter." So clearly the people who name the Detour tasks are getting tired as well. The opera task involves no actual singing: just going to the Huguang Huiguang Opera House and doing each other's makeup as a "princess" opera character and a "gentleman" opera character. I'd say the makeup was Kabuki-style, but Kabuki is Japanese and this is all making me feel like enough of a gaijin as it is. Once made up and fully costumed, the opera master will give them their next clue. For "Chinese Waiter," teams go to Huguang Huiguang Restaurant (which one assumes is nearby) and pick a table. The customers at the table will order meals in Mandarin. The teams will need to relay the orders back to the chef, also in Mandarin, and will get their next clue after the correct dishes have been served. So yes, obviously Tammy and Victor will be opting for this one, which might as well have been designed for them. They get in a cab, confident that this will be easy for them. I can't imagine they'll have as much trouble with this as they did with the synchronized diving. Provided Victor doesn't get them lost between the restaurant's dining room and its kitchen.

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Amazing Race

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