Amazing Race

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

Margie and Luke are on their way. And Jaime and Cara have found their gnome inside a tea shop. By now, the sky is beginning to get light. Keep in mind that the teams all landed in Beijing at 8:05 the previous evening, so these people are having a very long night. Of the two teams searching for cabs, guess which one is being ruder? Well, Jaime charmingly tells one driver, "Forget you, then." She says for our benefit, "One thing I hate more than anything in the world is taxis." I think it's mutual.

Kisha and Jen find their clue in last place. By now, Team Family Law has discovered a gnome in a honey shop, naturally wearing a beekeeper's hat. Tammy recognizes the "Gu Gong" part of their next destination as referring to the Forbidden City, so they're already in good shape before they've even found a cab.

The sisters find their gnome in a bakery, wearing a chef's toque. They join the hunt for a cab. "I can't believe I'm carrying a purse and a doll," Victor cracks as they run down the street. Oh, just go with it already. They end up being the first team to find a taxi. The sun must just be coming up, because Jaime and Cara are beginning to cast long shadows as they spot Margie and Luke getting into a second-place taxi, and get into a cab of their own in third. Jaime isn't satisfied that the driver knows where he's going, so she says, "Let's look at it again, then," in what I'm sure she thinks is not a snotty tone of voice at all. She sticks the inverted gnome up between the front seats, almost stabbing the poor driver in the arm with its hat. He recoils in alarm, but she doesn't seem to care, making him look at the bottom of the gnome and asking him if he knows where it is. He either can't or won't say, one way or another; he's just irritated now. Not that she cares. She just transfers her bitching to Cara. Who I'm sure is by now thinking, You know how Racers always say they wouldn't have wanted to do this Race with anyone else? I'm never going to say that.

And as Kisha and Jen finally get their cab, Jen looks out at the morning and says, "I'm glad we got a new day. Another day, I should say."

There's a dude doing some early-morning tai chi not far from the waiting bicycles when Tammy and Victor come along, find the bikes, and plunk their gnome into the basket on the front of Victor's bike. They hop on, and that knowledge of Chinese streets they were talking about last week nearly gets them killed on a zebra crossing. After a while, they even figure out that their bikes have electric motors, and they never look back. Well, okay, they'll look back one more time this leg, but it won't be in a nice way.

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Amazing Race

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