Amazing Race

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M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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The Squid and the Fail

Kisha and Jen are happy and smiling when they make it to the mat, but Phil is not. They are Philiminated. "Dammit," Jen says, and raises a hand to her eyes in a way that causes her big sleeve to completely hide her face. Phil asks her, "You had to stop for the bathroom?" How is he getting these updates so quickly? Phil tells her it was a matter of seconds. "Can you tell me about how you're feeling right now?" she asks. Oh, Phil, I'm sure she's ready to do a pee-pee dance of joy. "I feel guilty as hell, I had to use the bathroom," she quavers. "And if it came down to ten seconds or however many seconds it came down to, then, that's on me." And worst of all, I bet she has to pee again. Phil asks Kisha, "You don't want her to live with that, do you?" Kisha says she doesn't, and says she won't hold it against her. "She's been a strong competitor through all this, so I'm not gonna say that she lost it for us, because she's a big part of why we got this far." Thanks for saying what you weren't going to say. Still, just like Jen said at the beginning of the leg, I'm guessing this loss is going to weigh heavily on her heart. Or her bladder, as the case may be.

In a post-Philimination interview, Kisha says that this made her look at Jen differently, "Like she's not my little sister anymore." Whoa, disowning her? Harsh. Back at the mat, Jen says she's glad Kisha's proud of her. "I'm extremely proud of her. I wouldn't have picked anybody else to do this with. We've grown as people and as sisters. I think this just brought us a little closer together." In a tearful solo interview, Jen calls it "an amazing experience that I didn't want to share with anybody other than my sister." And as we see them walking away from the mat, she says, "I enjoyed every minute of it." Especially, whatever she may say otherwise, that minute or two she spent in the port-a-potty. There are some things a million dollars can't buy, and that kind of sweet relief is one of them.

Hey, you know what's not here? Pre-finale interviews full of bravado from the final three. And I don't miss them one bit.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.

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Amazing Race

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