Amazing Race

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The Phuket List

Jaime decides to try to relate to her cabbie on a human level by asking him his name, which he gives as Sak. And then she instantly wrecks it by asking, "Sack, do you know what a race is?" In a joint interview, Cara makes fun of Jaime for patronizing people. Does Jaime object to being called out like this? No, she thinks it's hilarious. Oh, tee hee, look at me, I'm such an adorable singularity of hatred.

Tammy and Victor are also learning their cabbie's name, which happens to be Mr. Bandit. "'Bandit' in Thailand means 'Teacher,'" Mr. Bandit explains, rather than letting them think of him as the guy named "Thief" or "Robber," old-timey synonym or not. "Bandit means teacher in Thai," Victor repeats quietly to himself, mentally filing it away. "Or, 'Awesome,'" Tammy adds. I do like how she keeps finding new ways to have a positive attitude.

Mel and Mike finally hail a cab, and the driver takes one look at the photo of the gorilla statue and decides, for some reason, that they need to go to Patong Beach. Soon they're on their way there. Which is...not good. At the same time, the Stuntmen are showing their photo to their cabbie, who first laughs at them like they're trying to pay a joke on him. And, admittedly, how would you react if a couple of short foreigners walked up to you, showed you a picture of a gorilla, and said, "Take us here"? When he realizes they're serious, he admits he doesn't know where it is, so now that they're in town, they stop for directions from a bystander. Margie and Luke are also stopping, and the cheerleaders tell their driver to stop when they see their allies getting out of their car. Jen and Kisha are also pulling up to the group, and decide to join the quest for directions. Okay, I know there is more than one street in Phuket, so this is just weird. Kisha tells Jen to get the picture out, but Jen doesn't want to spend the time. "Just say a big-ass gorilla," she says. Victor and Tammy also join the group of Racers wandering up and down the sidewalk, calling out, "Gorilla? Gorilla?? Gorilla???" to the locals. Mel and Mike happen to drive past. "They're all lost," Mike says dismissively. As opposed to him and his dad, who are decisively and confidently traveling to the wrong place. Mark and Michael seem to be the first to get directed to Phuket Zoo, with the rest of the teams not far behind. The Whites are still in view as they get into their cabs, but they continue on the opposite direction from everyone else. "Everybody seemed like they were in, like, a herd," Mike says. "And that herd is going a totally different way than we are. But either we're going to get behind or we're going to get ahead." Oh, Mike, there's a lot more to lose than there is to gain in these situations. Since they're still going to Patong Beach, I think we can bet on the former.

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Amazing Race

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