Amazing Race
Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Barcelona Killed The Beauty Queens

Oh my God, this is where I figured out that this was a metaphor for every relationship problem that people ever have in their lives. They are both getting hit by tomatoes. DO YOU GET IT? In life, you're both hit by tomatoes all the time, and -- seriously, this is so brilliant that I think some task planner wanted us all to learn how to be better at dealing with other people -- if one person wants to take one approach to getting away from the flying tomatoes, and the other person wants to take a different approach, they often wind up yelling at each other, even though the problem is that they are both getting hit by tomatoes. Kimberly has already told him that she's upset because she's getting belted and is afraid they'll get hurt, so she wants help, and he's like, "I can't help you, I'm getting hit by a tomato!" It's so brilliant it makes me dizzy. Seriously, not only is this why many relationships break up, but it's why we don't have world peace and it's why all the people in What's The Matter With Kansas? vote Republican. "Let's get out of here! I'm getting hit by a tomato!" "Sorry, can't hear you right now! Busy getting hit by a tomato!"

Okay, anyway. Rob goes back to "solving" the hit-by-tomatoes issue in his way, which is to throw tomatoes back at the locals, and Kimberly feels abandoned, of course, since now he's not helping her and she thinks therefore that he doesn't care. "I want to go," she says, half in tears again. "I wish you would listen to me." She gets hit with a couple more tomatoes, and it pushes her right over the line. "I'm going," she announces. "I'm done, I'm done. I'm done!" And she's acting all calm, all, "Doop-de-doo, I'm do-ooone!" Unfortunately, he just says, "I'm not done," and then she... rather hilariously turns around and shrieks, "NOOOO!" She announces, "I'm not doin' it." "Why can't you be tough?" he asks. Oh, that's a good idea. That's an even better idea than "You're not as heavy as I thought!" He goes on to complain, "We've been here for FIVE MINUTES!" "We're never going to find it!" she protests. "Dammit, Rob!"

Okay, so the metaphor continues, right? They're looking for basically the same outcome. She's sure they'll never achieve it this way, and he's sure they'll never achieve it the other way, and they both ultimately want exactly the same thing, but because they want to achieve it in different ways, they both think the other one doesn't care about the goal. Also, they can't get enough peace to have a constructive discussion about it, because they're too distracted to give it their full attention, because they're being pelted with tomatoes -- in your life, this would be the money, the job, the in-laws, the general daily bullshit... do you see what I mean? I realize I am utterly carried away, but this is fascinating to me. This is what happens when you are on, like, your 120th episode of a show.

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Amazing Race




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