Amazing Race
Don't Try To Play The Moralist Now!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Ferry dusted

On the road to the Mekong Delta, Ken and Gerard are happy to be in second place. Derek and Drew in first place, however, are struggling with a taxi driver who seems very reluctant to go very quickly. They needle him to go faster. He is concentrating hard on grinding the gears, though, so he doesn't have that much energy to spare.

Asshat, on the other hand, is pleased as punch with their driver. "Probably some land mines still out there," he comments as he looks out the cab window. He says in a voice-over that 58,000 Americans died in Vietnam, and that hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese died. "Those men didn't die in vain," he says, clearly genuinely getting some peace from seeing that the country where he saw so much that was so bad has done well since he left. "It's sad, but it's over," he goes on to say.

Out of the deep end! Into the shallow end! Derek and Drew are still asking their cabbie to go faster. It doesn't work, though, because Asshat's excellent cab driver has gone right by them. The twins finally hit on a successful strategy, which is telling their cabbie that they need to catch up with their friends. This seems to kick the cabbie into easing up toward the Asshat cab. He passes them, but Teri and Ian pass right back. "This is what I call racing through Vietnam," Ian says, somewhat nonsensically.

FloZach. "You done?" he says wearily, apparently hoping that now that they're this far removed from it, she can shut up and move on. "No," she says flatly. She starts in yet again. "This is not a joke, Zach. Do you understand this is not a joke to me?" He looks out the window. "I'm just trying to enjoy the race," he says, actually trying to keep from throwing her out of the cab. He voices over that he's well aware that if he loses his cool, it's over for the team, because Flo certainly isn't going to hold it together on her own. But back in the cab, she's still at it. "I'm taking this seriously," she whines. "So am I," he says. "No!" she whimpers. "You're totally trivializing the whole thing." Flo, there is no such thing as "trivializing" an argument over cutting in line. And why? Because it's already trivial! There is nothing you can do to trivialize it! It's like trivializing Pez. Pez are already trivial. You can't trivialize Pez, or arena football, or the Grammy Awards. These things are already trivial, and so is an argument about cutting in line that should have been over three minutes after it happened. "You are, you're trivializing everything!" she whines. He literally squirms in his seat with seething anger. "I'm scared to offend the people in line," he says simply. "It's a feeling you have that you can't ignore, and it's so strong that you're willing to do something that might jeopardize the race." She comes back, still indignant over nothing. "It makes no seeeeense," she complains. "What kind of sense does that make? Don't try to play the moralist now." "It makes as much sense to you as your not rappelling or not wanting to bungee jump makes to me." Ooh, good one. If he had thrown in "inability to carry your own damn pack," it would have been perfect. He goes on for a word or two, but she cuts him off screaming, as usual. "No! Zach, that's so ignorant and obnoxious when you know that there's a thousand physical risks associated with bungee jumping! Are there any physical risks associated with cutting a line?"

Let me just break in here. I understand that she's tired. I understand that she's frustrated. I understand that they don't agree about the line, and I understand that she may be right about the line. But you know what? You don't use the word "ignorant" on your friends, ever. I don't care how angry you are. Tell your friend he's acting like an asshole, fine. Tell your friend he's not listening to you, fine. But "ignorant" is a word of such contempt that it just doesn't get out of your mouth in reference to anyone you care about. To me, it's one of those red-flag words that's really only used by people who have absolutely no respect for you at all. It insults not the particular comment, but the basic intelligence of your friend. In other words? Low blow, Flo. Hope you were suitably embarrassed.

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Amazing Race




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