Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
The Hip Bone's Connected to the What Now?

Most of the other trams have apparently made it to Li Jiang train station. Cord narrates that the Globetrotters had a basketball with them. That's a wise use of backpack space: 455.9 cubic inches of empty air. I hope they at least figured out a way to roll socks up inside it or something. Cord goes on to say that since there's a "basketball goal" outside, how's about a little three-on-three? To make it even, the teams are Jet, Flight Time, and Kisha against Cord, Jen, and Big Easy (keep in mind that Kisha also played basketball, at the University of Louisville). All six players are wearing Globetrotter shirts, which means that Flight Time and Big Easy's backpacks must be practically empty now. There's the obligatory "Sweet Georgia Brown" on the soundtrack while the game proceeds. The show doesn't exactly keep us updated on the score, but Jet marvels, "Who'd have ever thought that we'd be playing basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters in China?" Like it's some big thing. Actually, they've attracted a small audience (five people, or about 0.000000004% percent of China's population) and Jet adds that it was like playing basketball with trees. I think he's referring to their height, because Flight Time and Big Easy move pretty quickly to be arboreal-Americans. Jaime and Cara do a little cheerleading routine from the sidelines, using bandannas as pompoms. The game's still going on when Zev and Justin show up. "Kent and Vyxsin are on their way," Zev announces, and Justin adds, "They showed up at the Road Block, like, ten minutes before we finished." This is so the last thing everyone wants to hear that Mallory says, "Don't ruin the basketball game." Whatever, it's degenerated into trick shots anyway.

Speaking of Kent and Vyxsin, she's speculating that they might get caught up by getting to ride the same train as everyone else. "That would be so incredible," she says. Yes, that's the word I was thinking of, but I always thought it was pronounced "inevitable." By the time they arrive, most of the teams have moved inside and switched to cards. "Oh, my gravy, here come Kent and Vyxsin," Flight Time hollers out from inside as they approach. Jet remarks, "They're gonna have some explaining to do." When they join the other teams inside, even Cara and Mallory's smiles look pretty frozen. "I never thought I'd see any of you people ever again," Vyxsin says, like there's no such thing as TARcon, as they claim a neighboring table. Kent also makes a claim, that being that their car broke down in Japan so they missed the flight. Mallory asks if they were given a penalty, but Vyxsin claims that they don't know yet. I would actually buy this, because it seems a little unfair to tell Kent and Vyxsin that they'll have to wait out a penalty at the end of the next leg. That has the potential to change their whole strategy for the leg, as we'll be seeing. And not telling the other teams could have the same effect, as we will also see. I'm not saying they should have had to sit out their penalty at the end of this last leg, because it would have had no practical effect whatsoever. Probably the fairest thing to do would be to drop the news of the penalty on them when they arrive at the next Pit Stop. But I might just be saying that because I don't like them very much. Of course, neither do any of the other re-racers right now, going by all the suspicious looks they're getting. Jet remarks that this changes everything, overstating the case a bit. "To be continued," he says, a week too late.

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Amazing Race




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