Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
The Hip Bone's Connected to the What Now?

Christina finally gets her hip crosspiece into place by hanging from it with her entire body weight. "That's why it was unsafe, "she sighs wearily. So of course she had to risk pulling the whole thing down on top of herself, in the name of safety. Kent asks for a check on his work, but it's wrong. Not that he gets why. As usual. Margie's busy hanging ribs on the spine, telling us about how her four-year-old grandson "is a huge dinosaur fan. So I'm doing this one for Bryce, who I miss terribly!" Whoa, waterworks! Take a nap, lady! At least she keeps going. Who knew Luke had a kid? Or, more likely, a nephew? Jet asks for a check, and he's the first person to finish his dinosaur. The Heroic Cowboy Theme is duly impressed. Everyone else looks on with disgust as Jet loudly celebrates. Or they're as sick of hearing the Heroic Cowboy Theme as I am.

Over at the waiting area, Flight Time is standing on a rock to make himself even taller, and calling Vyxsin and Cara out about all the U-Turning. Cara tries to throw Vyxsin under that particular bus, leaving out the part where she and Jaime encouraged the Goths to U-Turn the Globetrotters instead of themselves. Vyxsin explains about their thirty-minute penalty, which satisfies him that the Goths, at least, weren't just being mean. "I think the redheads were being mean," he adds. I have to say, an angry Globetrotter is a little unnerving, like a Smurf with fangs. Cara calls out some encouragement to Jaime, who appreciatively responds, "Leave me alone!" Justin is the latest to be told that his hipbone isn't safe. Now he has to climb up on his step-stools to try and force it back apart, which doesn't come easy. Hard to get hips back open once they close on you.

Gary and Mallory return to the visitors' center and start asking around for Green Lake Park. Jet and Cord show up and run right past them, straight to a cab, and into the lead while Gary and Mallory are still trying to figure out what's going on. Aaand their cab is gone, so they have to hire another one. "How much? Fine. Now!" Mallory says to one driver, reminding me of a Smurf with a bazooka.

Justin's hip is still stuck, no matter how much he tries to force it loose while screaming. Story of my life in high school. Margie finishes next, so she and Luke are off in third. Meanwhile, at Green Lake Park in Kunming (which is lovely, unsurprisingly), the Cowboys get out of their cab before Gary and Mallory, who spot their hats from a distance. Both teams run for it, but it's Jet and Cord who arrive at the mat first. Phil tells them they're team number one, and it's a week where the Travelocity gnome forgot to go gift-shopping, because they've won five thousand in cash. That's enough for Cord to buy a new hat after he throws his in the air. Gary and Mallory walk up to the mat and learn that they're team number two. "We thought, so, but hey, that's okay," Mallory says with a smile so huge it seems more than okay.

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Amazing Race




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