Amazing Race
Donkeys Have Souls, Too

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Smack That Ass

Kynt and Vyxsin. Yeah, I will not be typing that all season. It's annoying to the fingers and, more importantly, it's dumb. In the back of the car, they are both in full makeup, and she has hair that's kind of the color of Animal on The Muppet Show, but less subtle. They are wearing faux animal-print shirts in hot pink, apparently made from the pelts of a tiger Siegfried and Roy threw out of the show for being too femme. They are classified as "dating Goths." In an interview shown over footage of them skipping through a graveyard, Kynt (sorry, I don't type the star in Macy*s, typically, and I'm not typing your cutesy thingamajig naming conventions, kiddo) says that Goth is a "celebration of beauty, art..." This is where I have to credit the EEFP who noted that there is no celebrating in Goth. That's what makes it Goth. It kind of seems like "Goth" is over here, and "Whee!" is over there, and never the twain shall meet. I'm sure it's very genuine to them, but I just want you to understand, if you haven't seen them and want to picture it, that this is not Goth the way you probably imagine it or, I believe, the way many, many people who consider themselves Goth imagine it. Kynt goes on to say that he and Vyxsin are like "real-life cartoon characters," and "every day is Halloween." I hope Vyxsin is bringing more supportive undergarments on the race than she brought to their intro taping, or she will soon be able to replace her heavy eye makeup with entirely natural black-and-blue marks. They also throw in a little shot of Vyxsin saying, "Kynt's hot!", which is there so they don't have to throw in a caption that says, "Yes, we said 'dating,' even though he wears lipstick and paints his eyebrows on and sounds a wee bit like Mr. Jay, so STOP JUDGING."

Nicolas and Donald are a very young-looking airline pilot and his grandpa, respectively. I have to say, if I saw that kid behind the controls of an airplane, I would ask him whether his daddy knows he's out there. In one of their interviews, Donald is wearing a shirt that says, "Grandpa." He is a store-brand grandpa! No fancy packaging! He costs a little less as a result. Nicolas informs us that his grandfather swears frequently and discusses girls inappropriately. You can immediately tell that they crack each other up, which is usually a sign of a team I will enjoy.

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Amazing Race

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