Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!

On the bike route, Team Divorced and Team Long Distance are walking their bikes along, until Aja and Ty remount at the tunnel and pass Kelly and Christy. Also on foot, the Siblings see that they're catching up to the divorcees, and it's a race to the U-Turn as Nick and Starr jump back on their bikes and zoom past. "You're miiiine, Ty and Aja," Nick warns as he and Starr pull up next to them at an intersection. Except the vibration of the bike makes Nick sound like he's saying not "miiiine," but "mi~~~~~~~ne." Kind of ruins the effect.

Behind them, Christy again loses control of her bike on a downhill slope, crashes into the curb, jumps it, and nearly takes out an innocent pedestrian on the sidewalk as she slides to a painful halt. Unfortunately, I don't get to learn the Spanish phrase for "What the fuck, crazy wooden-bike-riding chicken-bitch!?" like I've been meaning to. I'll just have to wait for the next time that opportunity comes up.

While coasting haphazardly toward the end of the route, Starr begs Aja and Ty to U-Turn Kelly and Christy, promising in turn not to U-Turn them. Back at the crash site, Kelly gasps at the sight of blood on Kelly's leg. At least I assume it's there. I don't have HD or anything, so I can't be sure. Maybe she's bleeding in the Terence sense. The Siblings arrive at the U-Turn box, and Nick announces to the camera, "We do not want to U-Turn anybody." "Are you sure?" Starr asks him. "Kelly and Christy?" Christy remains sprawled on the sidewalk, unaware of how close she is to becoming a bleeding bandleader.

After the ads, we get a replay of Christy's pedestrian-threatening wipeout (no helpfully subtitled cries of "Christ, you splinter-tainted Birdwoman of Alcatraz, keep your goddamn lumberjack-mobile off my Jimmy Choos!" either), and the Siblings agree not to U-Turn Team Divorced, since they might need it later in the race. Ty and Aja do the same, as the Siblings get their clue just ahead of them. After both teams get into their separate cabs, Aja reminds us about Starr's U-Turn request, which they don't seem to have appreciated, let alone honored. The Siblings are occupied with gloating over having passed Kelly and Christy. Who are also not U-Turning anyone. Kelly interviews that they thought they were in last place, even though Dallas and Toni are just about to arrive. Kelly quickly triages Christie's leg (a process that doesn't seem to ascertain much beyond whether it's still there), which allows Dallas and Toni to pull ahead of them in the race for a cab.

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Amazing Race




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