Amazing Race
Desert Storm

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
I'd walk a mile for a Camel

Drew keeps check-checking, and this is the first time we're told that Drew is a cop of some sort. (I'm told he's a court officer, actually. Which is not to say he's not a cop; I'm just clarifying what kind.) They keep wandering and talking. Just as it occurs to me that what they need to do is stop walking around together and have Drew stand in one place and talk while Kevin walks around and listens, Kevin suggests this very thing. Kevin and I think alike. I should call people "jackass" more often. ["I could not agree more." -- Sars] Furthermore, Drew starts blowing into the walkie-talkie instead of speaking into it, and the blowing creates a more constant, static sound that I'm thinking might be easier to hear than talking, and which furthermore doesn't create distracting noise at the point of the person doing it. Anyway, their method works, and they finish the mission. Drew also uses his special magic walkie-talkie knowledge to note that when he heard interference, he knew they were close. Actually, I think I could have come up with that. Maybe I should be a cop. Maybe I already am a cop! I'm just so far undercover that even I don't know about me.

Here come the Guidos. They seem to get stuck for a minute because they just walk up to the guy at the entrance and haughtily demand their walkie-talkie, instead of looking for it. (I wouldn't have minded if they'd asked the guy if he had it, like Shower-Fresh did in the car -- it's the way they say, "Our walkie-talkie?" like they're ordering around their personal butler.) Man, I bet they walk into fine restaurants and demand that someone chew their food for them, too. Meanwhile, Kevin and Drew, who've just finished the Listening task, hear the Guidos coming. When Joe and Bill do find the you-know-what (I am already SO sick of typing "walkie-talkie," I can't even tell you), they head for the maze. Drew and Kev hear them, though, and are afraid that if the Guidos see them, they'll know where to go (the second W-T is back in the same place for each team, so where Shower-Fresh ended up is the same place Guido is supposed to end up). "I heard Bert and Ernie yapping it up outside the gate," Kevin says. Hee. I'm always up for a Sesame Street joke. Switch to Drew: "We climbed over rooftops to make them think that the walkie-talkie might be somewhere on some rooftop." Kevin works at being conspicuous. "I want them to see me," he explains. "HOW DO WE GET DOWN FROM HERE?" he hollers, so the Guidos can't miss him. Meanwhile, said Guidos are trying to make the first W-T work.

As he and Drew leave, Kevin explains that his diabolical plan was to keep the Guidos from being able to figure out where to go based on where they saw Drew and Kev emerge. Back to the maze, where Joe, playing directly into the hands of Team Shower-Fresh Scent, says, "You know, when the fatties got theirs, they got them over here someplace, I think." Ha! You're a tool, Joe. A tool and a pawn, and let's see you play some violins now, buster. Furthermore, if that ain't the Fattie Karma biting you in the ass, I don't know what it is. Meanwhile, in the Shower-Fresh Cab, Kevin says, "I hope they bought that whole thing." Drew: "I mean, when they start climbin' roofs right off the bat…" Kevin: "What do you think, did they buy it?"

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Amazing Race




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