Amazing Race
Courteous? This Is A Race!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt

Next, Rob and Amber. Woooo! Okay, look. Either you watch Survivor or you don't, and if you do, then you either like Boston Rob (known affectionately to me as B-Rob, to be distinguished from a zillion other relevant and irrelevant Robs of the past) or you don't. I, personally, like him, mostly because I watched all of All-Stars and practically none of Marquesas, and because Lex was the biggest self-righteous yahoo in the history of self-righteous yahoos, and Lex just hates Rob. Also, Rob has an adorably goofy Boston accent against which I am completely helpless. Thus ends my explanation. He and Amber get off the helicopter as Phil explains...you know, how they met. Rob explains that they "both have a competitive edge," but they also have a friendship that is now love. And Rob name-checks Survivor for the first time, saying that they've gone through sleep deprivation and hunger and so forth, so he's not seeing them as likely victims of Killer Fatigue. He doesn't call it that, but I won't take it personally.

Out of the next helicopter step Ryan and Chuck, best friends from South Carolina. They are a couple of XXXL-sized boys, and they're working the combination of shorts and work boots that always says, "I change my own oil." Ryan says that size is not an issue for them, and in fact, it's "what makes [them] look like teddy bears." So they can "use the natives." Oh, and then we watch them lovably smashing tractors into each other. Ryan finishes explaining how they'll charm the locals as "two fat fellas," and then he turns to Chuck and says, "Is that raaaht?" And Chuck says, "Ah concur." I love them instantly. Chuck says people will think they're hillbillies until they open up and show what they're really made of. Hey, they're made of highly educated Latvian orthodontists! Okay, probably not.

Next up: Megan and Heidi. Blonde on blonde, again, some more. "Roommates." Megan speaks the accidental cosmic truth that they're "two halves of one whole person." Also, she says, "When we come together, we prosper and nothing is out of our reach." That's certainly the first time I've ever heard the roommate relationship described in quite that way. And then there's a great part where one of them says that they'll be underestimated because they're thin. Well, sure. Everybody knows only fat people ever win competitive, highly athletic reality shows. The chunky Kendra, the hefty Flo, the mercilessly paunchy Chip and Reichen...nobody really believes a thin person can win. They close with one of my favorite grammatical forms, the irrelevant-disjunctive, when they say that people will think they're ditzy, but it's a game.

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Amazing Race

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