Amazing Race
Competition To The Fullest

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 2 USERS: A+
Thank you, wise man

Superfluous Phil voices over what was in the clue. Palace of the Winds, Jaipur. Dude, we get it. He does add the information that it's 150 miles away (only half the Standard Taxi Distance), and that they can either take a taxi or a bus. Fast and expensive versus cheap and slow. You know the drill.

Meanwhile, Joe and Bill, classy to the end, try to sneak into the Taj Mahal without paying, but it doesn't work. ("Just try walking in," Bill mutters in his usual conspiratorial tone.) What very petty petty criminals they are. They wind up having to pay. Incidentally, when they get caught, they lie, "We thought it was free." Little snots. Incidentally, not only do they try to get in with a group, they actually push and shove their way THROUGH the group. Ummm, guys? That is not the way to be inconspicuous. Just another team with no future in the CIA.

Esquire's cab driver, like most of Esquire's cab drivers, sucks. He has taken them somewhere to change cabs, once again proving that no cab in India actually goes from where you are to where you want to go, at least if Esquire is in it. Furthermore, now the Hating-Hats are really beginning to work against the SHORTS they're both wearing. (Boys, I'm telling you -- the Hating-Hats require just the right outfit, or they're even worse, and I am not kidding.) Brennan explains that they'd been happy about getting the jump on Guido, and now they're sad about wasting time with The Slowest Cabbie Ever.

Guido at the Taj Mahal. (How much is that the name of an art movie? It would star a Turturro.) Insufferably, agonizingly, horrifyingly, and disgustingly, Joe and Bill explain how they just walked onto the grounds and felt this electric vibration telling them to go walk in a particular direction, and they did, and there was the clue. Look, need I point out that that's complete crap? Either they cheated in some way they don't want to reveal, or they got unbelievably, unthinkably lucky just like they ALWAYS seem to. There are no "vibrations" from an Amazing Race clue. There's nothing THAT "special about Bill and Joe." Nevertheless, they continue to enjoy perpetuating the fiction that there is. "We trust what we pick up electrically," Joe says. God, Joe, don't tempt me with the hair dryer and the bathtub, okay? On their way out, they walk over to the other side to exit so that the next team won't see where they're coming from. Ahhh, yes, the Frattouine Maneuver. They've allowed Kevin and Drew to educate them well in the ways of actual cleverness. Too bad that in this case, it accomplishes nothing, because you're supposed to do it when there's ANOTHER TEAM around.

Esquire, in a gratuitous calf-shot, walking in a spot it appears no one else has been walking. Uh-oh. Rob asks the kid accompanying them whether this is the fastest way in. Unsurprisingly, the kid says yes. Rob offers to pay the kid to walk them in and then walk them back out when they're done, and Smart And Non-Silent Brennan makes the suggestion that they pay after, and not before, so they know they're not going to be left hanging. They arrive at the entrance, and do take a moment to notice that it's awfully pretty, and that they should take a good look. What good boys.

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Amazing Race




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