Amazing Race
Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 4 USERS: A
I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!

When the first teams to get to the dock rip the new clue, they learn that they have to get themselves to Maldonado, where they'll visit the Jose Francisco Gonzalez Meat Warehouse. The three lead teams get themselves on a bus to Maldonado without incident.

The second boat to land at the dock brings a number of fools who, for whatever reason, can't find the flagged clue box. Well, Charla and Mirna find it (as Mirna puts it, "Charla has the eyes of a cat"), but Jim and Marsha and Kami/Karli are struggling. "You guys, it's got to be right in front of our face," whines KarliKami as they stroll along a raised walkway. The camera guy manages to swing down directly to the clue box, which is right down below them in plain view. Hee. We check in with Charla and Mirna getting into their cab, and then we return to KamiKarli, who's saying, "I'm sure we went right by it." And what are they doing as she says this? They're going right by it. They're going right by it. As in, one of them almost brushes the flag with her elbow. And the thing is about four feet tall. Remember how Team Who couldn't find that clue that was on the wheelbarrow in plain sight, and how you kept hearing that gong noise, like, "Hel-LO?"? This is a lot worse, idiocy-wise, and it's only the first leg. They're very lucky there is no merciless stupidity-highlighting sound effect ("DOINK!" would work) in use. Jim and Marsha are still looking, too.

It's raining as Charla and Mirna make their way in the cab to Maldonado, having forsaken the bus, apparently. Charla snots in the cab that this is what those nasty teams get for not being willing to cooperate with them. She actually waggles her index finger scoldingly as she says it, too. I see what she's saying, but really, this is more what those nasty teams get for not being able to see flags in front of their faces -- you shouldn't need a highly strategic alliance to find flags, so this isn't a great pro-alliance argument. They also seriously need to ease up on the dramatic self-righteousness.

The bus-taking teams disembark at Maldonado, and they get there at the same time as Charla and Mirna. When Alison spots Charla, she says to Donny in an urgent but hushed voice, "There's the midget! Go!" Golly, she is so charming. She interviews that she and Donny weren't too happy to see that one of the later-ferry teams had caught up by taking a taxi. Alison and Donny and Charla and Mirna are the first teams to rip the next clue. Phil Phil-overs that beef production is very big in Uruguay. In this task, teams will have to carry a 55-pound side of beef from the warehouse to a butcher shop half a mile away. When they get there, they'll get their next clue. They start by suiting up in white coats, and Alison and Donny are the first to get their beef out of the way. Bob takes the side of beef and immediately predicts that he will never make it a half-mile. Mirna takes the beef for her team (ew), and although Charla insists she'll help, Mirna moans, "I'm gonna cry with this beef!" She is just weird. She's like an old lady in a cheerleader's body or something. You know how you can tell? Everything Mirna says sounds just right if you put the word "Phyllis" on the end of it. "I'm gonna cry with this beef, Phyllis." "We're lucky we didn't get trampled, Phyllis." See? Old lady. Anyway, Linda takes the beef for her team.

Alison and Donny are out in the lead, and he's carrying the beef, and she warily comments, "You've got a dog following you." Um, hee. I hate her, but still. The poor dog looks at the camera like, "What? It's 50 pounds of raw meat, dude. What would you do? Besides, now I'm the most famous dog in Uruguay. Hi, Mom!" Joyce urges a slow-walking Bob along. Charla is trying to hold up the end of Mirna's meat (ew), but Mirna is shrieking, "No, I got it! Just tell me which way to go!" Just then, we see Alison and Donny pass the Yield marker.

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Amazing Race




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