Amazing Race
Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 4 USERS: A
I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!

Furthermore, I have to say, they've had some strange dudes on reality television over time, but Brandon gives me the heebie-jeebies like nobody has in quite a while. I can't explain it, he just completely creeps me out. ["The dude scalped Christopher Atkins. No explanation necessary." -- Sars] But...anyway. The walking teams wind up on the same ferry, a bit behind the taxi-taking teams, or so it appears. Nicole does not look happy. She should relax and enjoy the patriarchy.

Here comes the second bus, featuring your trailing American Airlines crowd. There is clue-ripping at the Hand. Incidentally, Marshall and Lance would like you to know that they have a pizza joint, and it has promotional hats and shirts. Don't you want one? Yeah, me neither.

At Gorriti Island, the ferry carrying Alison and Donny, Bob and Joyce, and Karli/Kami pulls in. They run for the clue box. Rrrrrip! The clue tells them to search an area of nearby trees for a ferry ticket. There are three ferries, each of which leaves at a different time. As Phil explains, the ferries leave at 8:00, 8:30, and 9:00, but the clue doesn't say that. Once you rip yourself a ticket, you can't get another one, so the idea is that you'd look long enough to figure out what the times are, and then you would try to get the best available. It's very much like what they did on last season's premiere with the buses. Alison tells Donny to look for the times before he rips anything. The teams wander around and look at the trees, but not having seen anything except 8:30 and 9:00, Kami and Karli decide to rip off an 8:30 departure. Way to go, fast girls. Bob and Joyce and Alison and Donny, however, work the problem through and grab themselves 8:00 departures.

When Jim and Marsha and Charla and Mirna arrive at the trees, Mirna proposes working together, but Marsha isn't so interested. Mirna bitches in an interview -- and seriously, did she pack hot rollers? -- that Marsha didn't want to cooperate. As they run around in the trees, Marsha finds a 9:00 AM, but when Mirna asks her if she's found anything, she denies it. When Marsha finds an 8:30, she just goes for it. When Mirna finds an 8:30, she pulls it also. "Nobody's helping us," Mirna says unhappily. "Has anybody helped us yet?" she asks Charla. "Never," Charla emphatically agrees. What happened to "independent," there, ladies? Mirna interviews that once someone else helps them, they'll offer help back, but until then, "everybody fend for themselves." I don't think I've ever seen a team so preoccupied with how much help they are or are not getting. It kind of reminds me of the way Reichen was always much more concerned about how people were going to react to his sexuality than anyone else was. Mirna needs to notice that nobody else is thinking about you at this point, for good or for ill -- they're thinking about themselves, and not being last. She's grating big-time with this whole thing, especially when she comments to Charla as they exit the trees, "They're playing nice, but they're not." Oh, feh, "nice." "Nice" is for dull people and hot asses. ["Also, I know I crab about this every season, but…Amazing RACE, people! Race! And not the Special Olympics kind where everyone gets a medal! You want help, go on The Amazing Boy Scouts! Race! Hate! Gah!" -- Sars]

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Amazing Race




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