Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

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Again with the racing

Debra and Steve trudge uphill.

Tian and Jaree have discovered a new method of getting uphill, which I guess would either be called Horse-and-Plow or Car-and-U-Haul, depending on what era you'd like to adopt as your frame of reference. Tian, who still has energy left, lets a backpack strap trail behind her, and she lets Jaree hang onto it for an extra lift as they haul up the mountain. It's awfully difficult for me to believe that's a rational thing to do, quite honestly, but it seems to help them, so...whatever.

Hiking, hiking, hiking. Everyone is about to die. (Doesn't that sound like a camp song?)

David and Jeff, completely winded, complete the hike, followed by Tian and Jaree. "I swear I'll never lift another cigarette in my life," Jaree mutters to herself as she walks. Oh, all right. I don't completely hate them. They're on the list, but in pencil. These last three teams are all shown reaching the chair lift at roughly the same time, but I suspect it was more spread out than that, because you can't ever see more than one team in the same shot. At any rate, David and Jeff are first into a cab, so it's coming down to Tian and Jaree and Debra and Steve. The editors are good -- it does look close, despite the fact that I'm betting it wasn't.

David and Jeff are the first to The Amazing Mat. Welcome, David and Jeff, you are team number ten. They tell us that they're not happy, but they're still in it. And hey -- it could be worse. They could be eleventh, which would be worse than tenth, or they could be twelfth, which would also be worse. Give 'em a hand! "My lungs hurt more than my pride does," Jeff says.

Tian and Jaree in their cab. Debra and Steve in their cab. Cab POV arriving at the hotel. Phil and the greeter waiting on the mat. The suspense! Is! Killing me! And! Coming around the corner and up the stairs! It's! Well, it's Tian and Jaree, unsurprisingly. Welcome, you're team number eleven. They low-five Phil.

To the soft and reassuring music of Someone Has To Be First Out, Debra and Steve step on the mat, and are Philiminated. "Despite all the emotional and physical damage we've done to ourselves, we've had a good time," Steve laughs. Debra says that she did things today that she would have never thought she'd do, and that's a good thing. They smooch. "What's most important to me is Debra," Steve voices over, "and the fact that I'm going to get to spend every day with her for the rest of my life." Aw.

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Amazing Race

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