Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Again with the racing

Dave and AirSteve step on the mat, and Dave steps right over, grabs Phil's face, and plants a big smooch on his cheek. Phil looks rather taken aback by this. "Steve and Dave, you're team number five," he tells them. "And don't ever touch me again." Okay, he didn't say that, but he was thinking it. Dave explains that if it weren't for AirSteve, he would still be sitting on the mountain, probably being eaten by ravenous birds. "We have our strengths. We really don't know what they are yet," says AirSteve. He claims, however, that they're "persistent" and "devious." I, on the other hand, am bored.

Russell and Cindy are approaching the zip line. She explains in an interview that she wanted to get over her fear of heights, and he adds that he left her no choice. I doubt she even knows that he's less likely to be romantically interested in her as long as she takes orders from him like that. She zips across.

Bus #3 makes its way up the mountain while some guy voices over that he's on the last bus and it puts pressure on him. It could be any of the members of the Pectoral College, quite honestly. Jaree says they're trying to get back in front, but they know it's going to be tough. Wow, their bus is pink. Apparently, the driver was the first guy in Italy to sell a million dollars' worth of Mary Kay. When the bus stops, everybody hops off. Chip and Reichen seem to be the first to get out of the gate in their cab. "Very fast competition against other people," Chip says, adopting a small measure of the talk-to-the-locals-in-a-funny-accent syndrome that has sometimes plagued past racers. Everyone gets a cab in a hurry, except for Tian and Jaree, who stop into a restaurant and call a taxi. While Jaree talks to the restaurant guy about whether he's seen other teams around, he offers her a coffee. "For free?" she says in a little-girl voice. (Yuck.) He agrees. "He's offerin' us a coffee," she drawls to Tian, and you can actually hear her voice pop down from Squeaky Favor-Magnet to Actual Woman's Gravelly Smoker Voice, for which I want to hate her, but which I actually understand. She uses that chirp the same way I use my Minnesota accent, actually.

Chip and Reichen get on the chair lift.

Back at the restaurant, Jaree is just fussing over her little cup of coffee when Tian calls to her from outside that the cab is there. Now if it's me, I pick that coffee up and gulp it, because it's teeny. But she leaves it on the counter. "Thank you," she says in her pretend voice. "I didn't drink it, but thaaaank you!" They get in their cab.

In a quick round of updates, Chip and Reichen get to the Detour box. They choose Rescue, just as, back at The Amazing Mat, Kelly and Jon are checked in as team number six. Debra and IndianaSteve as well as David and Jeff reach the chair lift, and Al and ClownJon are checked in as team number seven. Oh, and Al and ClownJon have put on red noses for the occasion. HOOK! BRING ME THE DAMN HOOK! FASTER, FASTER! Because the clown thing? Old already.

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Amazing Race




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