Amazing Race
Cheaters Never Win — And They Cheated!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Again with the racing

Speaking of blonde chicks, Tian and Jaree are looking for tickets, and Jaree (unsurprisingly, as we will learn later) wants to look by the ashtrays, among other places. Heh. They find the 6:00 AM tickets. Wow, that's some leather thing Jaree's got on her head. Looks kind of like a swim cap from the Y, only made from car seats. At least some of the past bad hats have been functional, for God's sake. That's just pointlessly fugly.

The Pectoral College (consisting of Reichen, Chip, David, and Jeff) de-trains at Milan. They find the 6:00 AM tickets. Psst, fellas? Next time? Take. A. Taxi. Really. David tells us that they had hoped to come in ahead of some other teams, but it didn't work out that way, so they'll be on the last bus out of town in the morning. "There has to be a way for us to gain," Reichen says earnestly, as the camera shoots straight up from his shoes to make him look as much like a marble statue as possible, "so I don't think it's over yet."

Commercials. Paxil will make you see happy little birdies.

Milan. Night. As Phil tells us, all twelve teams have arrived, and are waiting for their various charter buses that will take them to "parts unknown." The teams are all preparing to get a room for the night. I'm telling you, these people have gone soft. What ever happened to sleeping outside? Remember Paul and Amie and Dave and Margaretta sleeping under blankets by the Ferris wheel? And don't give me "winter," because it was winter then, too. These kids today, I'm telling you. The only one to hesitate is IndianaSteve, who's at the hotel early but balks slightly at the price he's quoted, and says he'd like to think about it and come back in a little bit. He and Debra leave to talk it over for a while. He voices over that he was worried about money, so he didn't want to blow it all on a room.

When they're gone, a bunch of other teams storm the hotel.

IndianaSteve tells the camera, sometime later, that he and Debra have decided to go back to the hotel after all, and just hope that they won't have to spend much money between this point and the end of the leg. When they get back, though, all the other teams are in the process of booking every room, and they can't get one. Incidentally, as everyone is standing around at the counter, Debra looks at David and sadly says, "I tried to get us in two hours ago," hinting not-so-subtly that her husband screwed up. It's very unfair, because back when Steve said he thought they should wait, she said that was fine, and even seemed to agree, and didn't even protest a little, so it's not as if he steamrolled her. It is at this point that IndianaSteve whaps the counter with his palm and starts feeling really crappy. "Oh, I just blew it," he self-flagellates. "I just didn't think." Of course you did! You'd think he bought plane tickets to the wrong country or something. Not paying for a room is a perfectly valid option. To the rescue, though, come Chip and Reichen, who agree to let Debra and IndianaSteve share their room for the night. The boys go out for a walk, and Debra chats with Steve in the shared room. "We have a feeling the boys want to sleep together," she says sweetly. Hee. Outside, they continue their walk, while Reichen voices over that they haven't decided whether to tell anyone they're a couple. HELLO? Debra and IndianaSteve, incidentally, said in a post-show interview that they were tipped off to the fact that the boys were married by the fact that they had matching wedding bands. Just a little hint: next time you boys want to leave your relationship ambiguous? Leave the rings at home. Just saying. Once again, it strikes me that they are way, way too worried about this.

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Amazing Race




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