Amazing Race
Bavaria or Bolivia?

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Bavarian Creamed

In the cousins' car nearby, Kerri annoys Stacy with misquoted holiday song lyrics, and possibly her very existence. You know how sometimes the race brings people closer together? I'm thinking that might not be the case with Kerri and Stacy. Stacy's playing it cool, but she seems like she'll be ready for a break from her cousin after they're done with the race. Or sooner, if possible. Both of these two teams pull into the parking lot for the gingerbread task and go venture out unto the snow to find a big wooden chest at the trailhead with a big red-and-yellow flag on the top and several baskets inside. And then they wander off together in the wrong direction. While they're trudging aimlessly through the snow, Bopper and Mark show up and walk right to it. They're the first team to retrieve a basket, whereupon they hit the trail and have to start picking up snow-covered gingerbread chunks as they walk. So they went from last to sixth just that quickly.

Joey "Fitness" and Danny: still struggling with their long-bearded model, while Vanessa and Ralph seem to be having success already. Of course the Jersey guys aren't used to working with the kind of sheer volume that Vanessa is, with her Kardashian-like mane.

At some point, Kerri suggests going a different direction, and the cousins and Team Big Brother finally find the chest full of baskets after Bopper and Mark are far ahead. Rachel hollers about the hunks of gingerbread she's spotting on the ground, which either just came out of the oven or are being discreetly kept snow-free by some diligent production assistant. "Be quiet, babe," Brendon says. I think he's saying she should be more discreet when there could be other teams around, but it's good advice for her in general. Kerri comments on the Hansel and Gretelness of it all, but of course Hansel and Gretel didn't gather a trail of bread, they left one. So unless this trail ends with the racers being reunited with their father, who then divorces their greedy stepmom, Kerri has this backwards.

Nary and Jamie show up at the beard place, much to the chagrin of the still-stuck Jersey guys. At this point every team is either at or done with a Detour, and they were the second team here, so their frustration is understandable. You know what, just crack a raw egg in Spiky's beard and comb that shit out until it turns to glue. I've heard that works. Nary and Jamie pick a guy with a long beard that looks like a bolt of raw steel wool, and he shows them a picture of himself in full regalia, which hides the entire bottom half of his head behind a giant asterisk of hair. Have fun with that.

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Amazing Race




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